My Cahill Death
by TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco
Summary: Lindsay Sapphire Jane Walker Wizard Cahill is back! Lindsay and Dan visit Hamilton, Emma and the kids for a bit. Then there will be a wedding. Guess who's wedding it is XD Anyways, during the reception, Lindsay is kidnapped. And guess where she wakes up? In the middle of the Sahara-freaking-desert. Will she survive? What will she do!  Rated T for reasons.  SEQUEL TO MY CAHILL LIFE
1. Prologue

**IM BACK YAYAYAYYAAYAYAYYAYAYYY**

**I had nutella... Like, A LOT of nutella... I wonder how I havefriend's..**

**Anyways, I have a few things to say before I start my second book:**

**1) this is a sequal. The first book is titled 'My Cahill Life'**

**2) this is not supposed to be written well. I mean, I try to be some-what descriptive, but Lindsay is the narrator. Lindsay hasn't been to school for a long while. **

**3) this book does contain a large amount of swearing...**

**4) some things in this book might offend you in someway... I apologize for Lindsay's behavior. **

**5) there probably is a lot of mistakes (spelling, grammar etc) in this story. I'm too lazy to edit.. :P**

**6)please give me a review if you like this story:)**

**DISCLAIMER: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or thei characters, only her own. **

* * *

I woke up, lying on the hard ground. Sand was beneath me. Sand was blowing in the wind. Sand was in my hair. Sand was covering my body. Sand was everywhere.

What in the holy hell.

I stood up and vigorously wiped at my clothes, attempting to get the sand off. The sand was an orangy color.

Oh, I get it. I'm in Davy Jones' Locker.

K, wait. Let's take a minute to think. I was at Emma and Hamilton's reception. I was sitting by myself at a table... Then what happened?

Right. Somebody put sleeping drugs in my food or something, because I had fallen asleep.

Then I woke up here.

Great.

Well, um, I have no idea what to say or do.

Thats when I see a shape, not to far into the distance. Is that... A person?!

Oh my God, there is life here. I might survive. Holy crap.

Okay, I gotta go. I'll tell you about how I got here, starting from the very beginning...

* * *

**Yeah that was short.. :P I'll post chapter one, too, just cuz this was unnaturally short .**


	2. Chapter 1

**Yeah. **

**DISCLAIMER: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or their characters, only her own.**

* * *

No, I don't listen in English class, so do not expect book two to be written any better than book one.

So, yeah. I'm Lindsay Sapphire Jane Walker Wizard Cahill. I'm 13 years old. I love Ruffles. I have pink, purple, and blue hair. I'm Canadian, used to live in L.A, and am now living in Massachusetts.

I also have a book before this one, so if you wanna understand shit better, I suggest you read it first.

Okay, now let's get started!

Eleven months had passed since Emma had the kids (one of which was named after me xD). Dan, my amazingly awesome boyfriend and I were in school right now.

Math class. Gross.

Well, at least I make it fun for the other students. I guarantee them a laugh every period.

My teacher, Mrs Walsh, entered the class room.

I absolutely love how this class is organized, because we each get a partner to sit beside, and Mrs Walsh assigned the seats.

That's right, bitches. I'm sitting beside Dan.

Mrs Walsh picked up a textbook from her desk.

"Okay, class, before you open your books, we are going to do a quick example on the board." Mrs Walsh started.

She flipped through the textbook and stopped on a page. "So, Ian is helping out at a soup kitchen—"

I burst out laughing. "Ian doesn't help out at soup kitchens!"

Beside me, Dan burst into a fit of chuckling.

Mrs Walsh rubbed her forehead. "Lindsay, please go out in the hall."

I got up and walked into the hall. See? Three minutes into class and I'm already kicked out.

Around twenty minutes later, Mrs Walsh stepped into the hall, arms folded.

"Miss Wizard, I've talked to you numerous times this school year. May I ask why you never listen to me?"

I stood up, and dusted off my pants. "I don't listen, because it's pointless."

"What do you mean it's pointless?"

"School is pointless! What if I want to be a stripper when I'm older? I don't need math, science or anything for that!"

She sighed again. "Lindsay, what do you honestly want to be when you're older?"

Truth is, I wanted to be a full-time Janus/Madrigal agent. I wasn't allowed to talk about that, so I mumbled something about being a bus driver.

"If you want to be a bus driver so much, then answer this question; if you start at your house, drive two kilometers, and at every ten meters, you gain 5 km/h in speed, how fast would you be going by the time you reached 2k?" Mrs Walsh probed.

"2000 kilometers an hour, but—"

"No buts," She interrupted. "That was math, and—"

"I was just going to say that why in the hell would I drive 2000 kilometers an hour?!"

"Lindsay, I know you don't have any parents, and I know your guardians live in L.A, but I'm seriously considering suspending you for a short period of team." Mrs Walsh informed me.

I frowned. "No offense, but your classes are boring. I just say stuff to make the class interesting, so the kids go home to their parents and say 'OMG guess what Lindsay said today!', and not 'OMG class is so boring."

"I understand, but you interrupt my classes, and most of my students don't study. Over half of them failed our most recent math test, and you were one of them."

"Look, I'm really sorry. But don't phone my uncle. You see, um, you know Jonah Wizard right?"

"The rapper?"

Oh my gosh my teacher knows Jonah Wizard.

"Yeah, him. He's my cousin," I explained. Mrs Walsh looked surprised. "And Uncle B really doesn't like when I get in trouble, and he'll ground me for eternity, and then I won't be allowed to babysit for my friend—"

"Alright. I'll wait." Mrs Walsh said.

I grinned. "Thank you!"

"Okay, now go finish your work."

We walked back inside and I took my seat again. I brought out my pencil and poked Dan's face.

"What questions are we doing?" I asked him, repeatedly poking around his perfect face his the eraser of my pencil.

Dan grinned. "Page 73 numbers 1-6. I'll just do them later, cuz Mitch is supposed to be here in five."

"Sweet." I said.

As if on cue, Mitch, the chauffeur Jonah hired for us waltzed into the classroom. Jeez, he was wearing a freaking tuxedo, and he had a French mustache. Stay classy, Mitch.

Mitch cleared his throat. "I am here to pick up Miss Wizard and Mr Cahill. Their private jet is waiting."

My God, Mitch. It's like you're trying to make us sound rich!

...

KEEP IT UP!

"Wait," One girl, Zoë piped up. "Lindsay, are you related to Jonah Wizard?"

"Um, yeah," I answered, standing up from my seat. "Jonah's my cousin."

"Sick! Who owes me money?" Zoë yelled, also getting up from her seat and collecting five dollar bills from most of the kids in class.

Dan and I followed Mitch out the door. See, my best friend Emma had kids eleven months ago, and then her and her boyfriend, Hamilton, went to go live in her beach house in Malibu, and Dan and I get to go down for the week. Plus, we have to babysit Lindsay and Ryder for tonight while Em and Ham go out on a romantically evening for Emma's birthday. Cue drink of water.

I was so excited! I seriously could not wait. I've never babysat before. But they have a PS3 there, so how hard could it be?

«»«»«»

"We're here!" I called sprinting into the house. Which is freaking huge, btw.

Dan closed the door behind me swinging around a pink bag — Emma's gift.

Hamilton came out of the kitchen. "Hey guys. Emma's still getting ready."

My God, I must've pinched myself a million times! Hamilton Pierre (lol) Holt was wearing an actual tuxedo, and not a track suit.

"Cool." I managed, after attempting to close my mouth several times. "I'll, Uh, go see her."

I ran up the stairs to the 'Bedroom Hall'. Ah, memories. I remembered coming here when I was ten, and Jonah brought the frog into the house and it peed all over Emma's head.

I entered Emma's bedroom — which I love. All the walls, ad everything else in the room, were different neon colors. It's blinds you at first, but it's really cool once you get used to it.

Emma was standing at the foot of her bed with a towel rapped around her body, glaring at three really expensive outfits.

The first one was a short dark purple ruffled dress with a bow on the side, black heels, a couple black bracelets and a diamond/black beaded necklace.

The second one was a really short glittery black strapless dress with gold sparkles in the middle, diamond earrings, and sparkly gold heels.

The third one consisted of a beautiful red dress that stopped mid thigh with a not-too-revealing V-neckline, a diamond double bracelet, glittering silver heels, and heart shaped diamond earrings.

I sighed. "Emma—"

"Help me, Lindsay!" Emma shrieked. "Hamilton's probably ready—"

"He is ready." I interrupted slowly.

"Really?" Emma ran over and placed her hands on my shoulders as if the world depended on it. "What color is his tie?"

I wriggled away from her grasp. "Emma, it's just a black tie. Now let's see..."

I examined the the outfits carefully. "The third one."

Emma stated at me as if I was some sort of alien. "Just like that? No thought to it?"

"No, I put thought to it. The second one makes you look like a stripper, and the first one your already wore before. Plus the third one is gorgeous." I explained.

"Alright. Turn around while I put it on. You have to help me with hair and makeup, too." Emma ordered.

I spun around and laughed. "What makes you think I can do your hair and makeup?"

"Well, look at yourself!" Emma told me as if that explained everything. "You wear all that dark eye makeup — and you put it on perfectly."

"That helps in no way at all," I said spinning around again.

My gods... Emma looked beautiful! The dress was, like, made for her.

"Close your mouth, you'll catch flies." Emma sat down in the chair in front of her makeup table. I abruptly close my mouth.

I did her hair first; I pulled it back and styled it into an elegant bun. Then for her eyes, I matched the shoes, bracelet, and earrings with two shades of silver eyeshadow. I also put on some light eyeliner and waterproof mascara. Only because I was positive she would be crying tears of joy tonight.

I put on some dark red lipstick. I always loved doing Emma's makeup because her lips are big so it's easier to put on lipstick.

I grinned hugely as I put down the lipstick. "You look amazing. Come on, that took us twenty minutes."

Emma stood up and slipped on her heels and put in her earrings. "Uh, it took you twenty minutes. I had no part of this."

"Whatever." I muttered, walking downstairs, Emma right behind me.

Hamilton was waiting at the bottom, a big grin on his face. Oh my gosh they were so amazingly perfect for each other!

Dan held up the pink bag. "Please open this before you leave, as per request by Lindsay."

I smirked. "Yeah. I totally said that."

"Emma you look..." Hamilton trailed off, at a lose for words. Aww!

"You don't look so bad yourself," Emma commented.

She took her gift and opened it up. The look on her face was priceless as she brought out a pair of brown ankle-high Steve Madden buckle boots.

"You... You remembered?" Emma whispered in awe. "I asked you, like, a year and a half ago. Back in Thailand, for God's sake!"

"Emma, they stopped making them on Steve Madden, so I worked my ass of to find a pair in your size on EBay. Cost me five hundred bucks, but it was well spent." I informed her.

She enveloped me in a hug. "Thank you so much!"

"Did you guys meet Ryder and Lindsay yet?" Emma asked.

I instantly lit up. Dan shook his head. "No."

"They're in the kitchen. Come on." Emma led the way.

We walked into the kitchen. Yes, it's huge an it's filled with expensive gourmet cooking appliances n snuff.

At one end of the table, there was two high chairs with the two most perfectest babies ever occupying them.

Lindsay and Ryder had matching wavy black hair and sea green eyes. How those came from Emma and Hamilton, I have no clue.

Emma went over and scooped both of then up. She handed me Lindsay and Dan Ryder. Lindsay bored her perfect green eyes into mine. Adorable!

"Okay, Ryder is starting to walk. He is also starting to talk, and it takes him a while to fall asleep. Lindsay, on the other hand, is pretty much useless. Can't walk, talk, and the exact second you put her in her crib she'll fall asleep." Emma told us.

"Awesome. I have no idea why I agreed to this." Dan stated, making a face at Ryder.

I put Lindsay's hair behind her ear. "You are too cute."

"Before we leave, can I, Uh, talk to Lindsay?" Hamilton asked.

I wasn't as shocked as everybody else. I mean, I was dying to see the — oops. Um, sorry. I'm really terrible when it comes to spoiling things.

I followed Ham into the living room, where he then shut the door.

"Lemme see it." I ordered.

Hamilton reached into his pocket and pulled out a small, blue velvet case. Anticipation built inside of me as carefully opened it up.

Inside, precisely placed on a silky cloth, was a diamond ring. There was one big circular diamond on top of a ring of smaller, glistening rhinestones.

I gaped. "It's-It's—"

"Expensive? Yes," Hamilton interrupted, putting it back in his pocket. "You don't think it's too early, do you? I mean, she just turned eighteen."

"Dude, you guys already have kids," I replied.

"Okay. Cool. I'll see you later then." Hamilton said.

Then I did something that surprised us both; I hugged him.

Yeah, yeah. Shut up.

Just to kill the moment, I whispered, "Casper's gonna have your ass."

"I'm more afraid of Cheyenne." Hamilton confessed.

I laughed. "Agreed. Now, go get Emma and get yo dinna on, fool!"

"Don't talk like Jonah." Hamilton ordered, leaving the room.

I sighed. Lindsay Sapphire Jane Walker Wizard Cahill, ruining your happy moments since 1998 A.D

**Emma's p0v**

Hamilton hopped out of the SUV and opened up my door for me. He held out his hand and I gratefully accepted.

We were in a park. There was a pond with a small bridge to cross over, trees, flowers, and a gazebo. Plus, it was about six pm so only two couples were there.

We crossed the bridge, hand in hand. It was a gorgeous night; the stars were visible in the clear sky; the temperature wasn't too cold, but also wasn't sweltering hot.

[Lindsay just punched my arm and said only granny's say sweltering and that I'm wasting space in her book. So, um, I'll be a little less descriptive, I guess.]

Hamilton led me to the gazebo. He seemed really nervous at dinner, but right now his hands were shaking unnaturally.

I frowned. "Are you feeling okay?"

Hamilton glanced at me and smiled. "I feel like a million bucks."

"That doesn't explain your shakiness, Mister." I told him, as we sat down on the bench in the gazebo.

He sighed. "It's just... You love me right?"

I almost laughed. "Of course I do. Why wouldn't I?"

"No reason. And you want to be with me forever, right?"

"Yeah..." I trailed off, scowling. Where in the hell was he going with this?

"Good. So, on that note..."

Hamilton stepped over in front of me, and got down in one knee.

Oh my God. He was not going to do this. There's no way...

"Emma," Hamilton started. "I've liked you ever since I laid my eyes on you. You are hilarious, beautiful and perfect for me. You're my soulmate. And I want to spend the rest of my life with you."

He pulled out a blue box and some tears slipped from my eyes. My heart beat was going crazy fast. I could barely process what was going on.

"Emma-Lea Olivia Mariah Cahill, will you please do me the honor of being my wife?" Hamilton asked, his blue eyes glistening with hope.

I nodded slowly, then faster and faster. "Yes. Yes, of course!"

He carefully put the ring on my right hand. Then Hamilton stood up and planted a long kiss on my lips.

I didn't even notice the fireworks going off in the sky. All I cared about was the fact that I, Emma Cahill, had just been proposed to by the amazingly hot guy I love.

**End o Emma's p0v**


	3. Chapter 2

**Guys. Day of Doom came out today. **

**NO SPOILERS WHAT SO EVER IN MAH REVIEWSS**

**only, cuz, you know... I haven't read it yet**

**OMG SIEZE FIRE I HAVE REASONS **

**k.. 1) my bookstore was supposed to have 10 copies in today**

**2) I go to the bookstore this morning, missing about thirty minutes of school**

**3) they can't find any copies. Like, on the shelves and even in storage**

**So I'm dying right now. Hopefully I'll get it tomorrow. For now, I have to distract my mind. And to do that I shall post another chapter of MCD**

**And, I was gonna thank all the people that have reviewed this story so far... I wrote all your names down but now I can't find the paper *dramatic sigh***

**Also, one more thing — I won't be able to post again until after spring break cuz I'm going to Florida**

**Thats right, Americans. I'm coming to your land. **

**DISCLAIMER:**

**Me: I dunno who I should get to do the disclaimer. My life is so full of dilemmas. **

**Random BookStore Employee: How about me?**

**Me: NIGGAH NOOOOOOOOO**

**RBE: Well Howdy Doo Dah Then**

**Me: I'll just... Do the disclaimer myself. **

***collective gasp***

**Me: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco (aka meee) does not own The 39 Clues or their characters, only her own. **

* * *

"Dan!" I called out. He appeared in the living room in less then a few seconds. "Can you set the PS3 up?"

"Yes." Dan said, as if he was glad he didn't have to deal with kids anymore.

"Good. Because they have the XBox up, and XBox is for..." I shuddered. "Quiffs."

Dan chuckled. "Okay then. Ryder and Lindsay are both asleep in their cribs."

"Cool. I'll go check on them and I'll be right back." I informed him.

I sprinted up the stairs to the Bedroom Hallway, and peeked into each of their rooms. And I basically had a heart attack.

"Dan!" I screamed like I was being murdered. Well, I mean, he loves me. If I was being murdered he'd obviously come to my aid.

Sure enough, he bounded up the stairs quick as a flash.

"What? What's wrong?!"

"I... Lindsay and Ryder are gone."

"Oh my God!"

"F*ck, I'm dead!"

"I love how you didn't give me credit."

"Shut up! This is serious!"

"It's okay, Linds. We'll find them. Take a chill pill."

"I can't take a chill—"

Dan silently kissed me. That's a good way to shut me up.

I pulled away. "Jerk."

He grinned. "Thank you. Now let's find the kids."

We then basically scoured the whole house and couldn't find them. They honestly weren't anywhere. Until Dan almost opened up this really tiny door in an empty hallway.

"No!" I stopped him, pushing him out of the way.

He scowled "Lindsay, they could be in there."

"It's haunted." I whispered, telling him the story of why it's haunted.

See, a long time ago when Emma, Jonah, Luke, Phoenix and I spent the weekend here, we decided to sleep in that small room for fun. We lit candles to give it an eerie feel. Also because we couldn't find any flashlights. Anyhoodle, when we all mysteriously woke up at the same time — 2:37 am exact — all the candles were blown out, all the furniture was moved to one side of the room, and on the empty side that we were all squished at there was knives lodged in the wall above our heads. So after that, we swore to never ever go in there again.

I took a breath. "Understand why we can't go in there?"

"Yeah, but Lindsay and Ryder—"

"Emma probably shouted in their adorable faces a billion times that she forbids them to go in there."

"Lindsay, if someone says 'I forbid it' that's a pretty good sign it's worth doing."

"But you weren't there that night."

"Whatever. Just face your fears and come on."

Dan took the brass doorknob and slowly pulled open the door. It was pitch black inside and there wasn't any lights in there. Plus, when we crouched down and stepped in the temperature dropped a good thirty degrees.

As we took one nervous step in, the door slammed shut behind us. F*ck, f*ck, f*ck!

"Dan..." I whined, slapping his chest.

He took my hands. "Lindsay. Shut up."

Then there came some insane squealing. Like, a freaking pig that's getting barbecued live. So, to speak, it made my heart go fifty billion jillion miles an hour.

Slowly, we crept inside. Which was freaking stupid, looking back on it. I mean, there was just FriedPig laughing coming from inside a second a go. Who the f*ck would go any farther?

Wait... Me. Me and my incredibly stupid boyfriend.

Dan took a shaky breath. Then screamed. "Lindsay!"

"What?!" I screamed, equally as scared even though I didn't have a clue of what happened.

"Something just pulled at my shoe." Dan whispered, as if he was afraid someone was watching us.

"We are so going to die..." I muttered.

Suddenly I got a creepy feeling like someone was staring at me. I hugged Dan's side and I could literally feel him shaking underneath me.

"Wait... Use your phone for light." Dan suggested.

I took my Nokia 8800 Sapphire Arte out of my pocket (Lol, birthday presents). I turned the brightness up all the way and shone it around the room.

I didn't look, though. I was scared of what I might see

Then Dan started laughing. Schmuck. Who would laugh at a time like this?

"Lindsay," Dan said, nudging my shoulder. "Look."

Slowly I opened my eyes. There, sitting in the corner of the room, were Lindsay and Ryder Holt. Dickheads.

As Dan picked them up, I texted Emma.

L; sorry to interrupt your romance, but I haaaaave 2 tell you something

E; I am half naked with a ring on my finger. I could honestly care less about your mental illness.

L; OMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFGOMFG OMFGOMFGOMFG HE PROPOSED! I totally didn't see that coming ;)

E; YOU KNEW?!

L; yeah, he told me before we came. Lolz, I feel so special.

E; I'm going to kick his ass...

L; I mean, YOUR boyfriend *cough*fiancé*cough* told ME a secret. Like fridge!

L; oh and don't kick his ass. That's not a polite thing to do before sex

E; F*ck you

Then she turned her phone off so I couldn't text her my funny story which wasn't very funny. Damn.

So, instead, I sent out a mass text to Amy, Nellie, Reagan, Madison, Sinead, Ian, Evan, Jake, Atticus, Jonah, Phoenix and Luke.

Lindsay; OMMMMMMMMMMGGGGGGGGAHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHAHA

Amy; ... Hi?

Madison; Lol I think sumthing funny happened ^.^

Lindsay; Funny... Not really :p

Sinead; ? What happened then?

Luke; SPILL SPILL SPILL!

Lindsay; FAG FAG FAG!

Luke; Jerk

Lindsay; do u want 2 kno or not?

Nellie; YESSSS!

Ian; NOOOOO!'

Jonah; Stop hating, I

Ian; I-A-N! There's two more letters

Phoenix; Why use all the letters when u only hav to use one?

Jonah; EXACTLY!

Reagan; can u tell us what happened already Linds? Ur interrupting my wipeout xD

Lindsay; Okay... Hold onto your drinks. That means you, Mr Coke-Is-Life

Evan; Coke is life, thank you very much

Jake; I prefer Pepsi

Lindsay; HA!

Jake; Calm down, Linds. Now: WHAT IN THE HELL IS GOING ON?!

Amy; Lindsay's stalling

Atticus; Stalling? For what?

Nellie; Some sort of announcement. HURRY UP LINDSAY!

Lindsay; Okay *dramatically clears throat* HAMILTON PROPOSED TO EMMA!

Reagan; Ha! I so called it! Madison owes me money!

Madison; Do not!

Reagan; Do to!

Amy; Tell them all of us here at CCC say CONGRATULATIONS!

Jonah: Whoop! I call dibs on best man! I think I deserve it!

Lindsay; and I deserve maid of honor

Sinead; are ham and em even in the conversation?

Lindsay; Nope XD

Sinead; Alrighty then... Text you guys later(;

Everyone else at the same time; BYEEEEE!

I put my phone back in my pocket. Dan went and put Lindsay and Ryder back into their cribs, then we both went back downstairs to the living room. Dan continued to set up the PS3.

Dan finished hooking it up and he unplugged the controllers that were charging. I sighed. "I can't believe Emma and Ham are getting married."

Dan fumbled and dropped the white controller. "They're what?!"

I then burst out laughing. Right, I forgot Hamilton didn't tell Dan about the proposal. Haha Lol.

"OMG, right he didn't tell you. Well, um, Ham proposed to Emma—"

"I know that now." Dan interrupted. "Dibs on best man."

"Jonah already called it. And maid of honor is taken too, so you won't be getting that part, either."

Dan scowled. "Gee, thanks for your consideration."

"Woo! Hunger Games quote! You get a nickel." I brought out the small silver coin (Lol Canadian not American) and Dan took it.

We played black ops for a long time. We mostly played zombies though, or combat training with the settings on 2 against 9, for an unlimited time until we reached 300,000 kills. It's really fun on firing range because Dan and I just stay up in the tower and shoot anybody that comes by. For our kill streaks we have care package, attack dogs, and chopper gunner so it was fairly easy to reach 300,000 kills.

"Question," Dan said as we finished a round of combat training. "Why does Emma dress so girly? I mean, when ever you talk about her back at the stronghold she sounds more like a tomboy."

I sighed. "It's Jonah's fault, actually. It was Emma's thirteenth birthday, I think, and Jonah got her a pair of pink sparkly Louis Vuitton heels with pinks bows on the sides. Emma didn't wear them for a week, but eventually she tried them on. She became obsessed. Then the next thing you know her credit card gets maxed out because she spent too much on Coco Chanel, Alexander McQueen, and Jimmy Choo."

Dan nodded. "Cool. That's all my questions for the night."

"What time is it?"

"Three in the morning."

"Then that's all your questions for the morning."

"Don't be smart." Dan retorted, kissing me softly.

I grinned. "But that's my specialty."

We played black ops for a little longer. Then somewhere around four I fell asleep. I woke up at 8am because Emma and Ham got home and Emma started hitting me with a pillow.

Dan had fallen asleep as well. Hamilton just shoved him off the couch and Dan jumped into some sort of ninja stance before touching the ground.

"How was your night?" I clicked my tongue, emphasizing my awesomeness.

"Good." Emma replied, smiling. "I can't wait to tell everybody else—"

"They already know," I interrupted. Emma raised her eyebrows. I pulled out my phone. "Mass text."

She nodded. "Right. Are the kids up yet?"

"Dunno. We kinda woke up two minutes ago." Dan replied.

Emma chucked a pillow at him and it hit his chest. Dan scowled.

Then we just talked and hung out for a while. Lindsay and Ryder got an idea that involved paint and fingers, and obviously both kids get their eating habits from Ham...

"No!"

"No!"

"No!"

"No!"

"What?" Dan an I asked, looking behind us on the open floor where Lindsay and Ryder were finger painting.

Emma was kneeing down beside her kids. Lindsay and Ruder both had paint all over their faces. Coincidentally, there was none on their paper. Kids, I'm telling ya.

"Did they..." Dan trailed off, because he burst out laughing. I couldn't suppress my smile.

"They ate the paint!" Emma screamed. "Can that kill you?!"

"Probably." I replied, shrugging my shoulders.

"Shit!" Emma yelled. Then she pointed at the kids. "Never repeat that word."

Just to brighten the mood even more, the doorbell rang. Hamilton sprinted towards it and opened it up.

Some fag in a retarded outfit waltzed into the door as if he owned the place. DaFuq is up with life today?

"Kevin?" Emma asked, standing up.

"The one and only!" Kevin answered shoving his way past Hamilton. Ham's face contorted with this really messed up expression.

"Um, why are you—"

"Ah, and these must be the kids!"

Kevin walked right over and scooped up Lindsay. Whoa, back it up FagSquire. When in the f*ck did I say you can touch my happiness?

Lol, wait. He's holding Lindsay. Not a bag of Ruffles!

"Yeah. That's Lindsay and that's Ryder—"

"Oh gosh! Adorbes!" Kevin squealed. No joke, he f*cking squeals like a pig that's getting cooked alive.

Haha. RADMEMS.

"How old are they? A year?"

"Eleven months." Emma replied slowly.

"Goodie! So you must've burned off all that baby fat by now, right?"

"Yeah, but—"

"Great! You start modeling next week."

Kevin turned to leave, but Emma sprinted out in front of him. "What do you mean I start modeling next week?"

"Well, in your contract it said you won't have to continue modeling until 10 months after you had the kids. It's been eleven, so you can start again."

"But—"

"She doesn't want to model anymore." Hamilton stepped in, finally taking part in this really messed up conversation.

"Well, I still want to model," Emma confessed. "I just don't want to be a Victoria's Secret Angel anymore."

"Oh. Well, my booking manager can probably find you a spot with Playboy—"

"No!" Emma interrupted. "I mean, I don't want to do underwear anymore. If I'm going to model, I just want to do clothes. Shoes, maybe some jewelry."

"Oh," Kevin murmured. "Well, I suppose I can get you a spot with L.A. Models—"

"Yes!" Emma shrieked. "Yes times a thousand! Thank you!"

Kevin grinned. "All the welcomes. I'll text you the deets."

Kevin exited the house, and we all the gawked at Emma. She was grinning and hopping around like she won the lottery.

"Oh my God! I'm such a freaking — AAAAHH!"

Then she burst into a fit shrieks and screams. Hamilton grabbed her shoulders, attempting to steady her shaking. But, it was pointless. Emma was too damn excited.

"Emma, calm down." Hamilton ordered, staring into her eyes. Emma's breathing was going all whack, and I was afraid she was going to pass out. "Emma, it's okay. Calm down. Shh."

Emma nodded, and took a few deep breaths. "I'm-I'm okay. I'm okay."

"Mommy?" Lindsay asked.

Hamilton and Emma abruptly paused. Slowly, they turned and stared at Lindsay.

"Was that her first word?" Dan asked, smiling in awe.

Emma smirked. "Yup. And it wasn't daddy!"

Emma started dancing around while Hamilton rubbed his face. "I was sure she was going to say daddy or dad, or even pa, before she said mommy!"

"Yeah, well, you thought wrong. Now I get fifty bucks." Emma replied.

I laughed. "Fifty bucks? Jeez, you guys were thinking big!"

Dan bro-fisted me. "Ha. Swallowed move, Jenkins."

"I'm not giving you fifty dollars." Hamilton grumbled, folding his arms across his chest.

Emma stuck out her bottom lip. "Please?"

Hamilton bit her lip and pulled back. Emma giggled then they did some PG-13 rated things. I stuck my head in Dan's chest while he covered his eyes and whispered. "If I don't see it, it's not real. If I don't see it, it's not real."

Ryder and Lindsay crawled — well, Ryder crawled... Lindsay sorta dragged herself — over to their parents legs and sat on their feet. Aww, smart kids!


	4. Chapter 3

**New chapter! :)**

**Has anybody ever tried a Nutella & Peanut Butter sandwich? OMG THEY'RE HEAVEN! Just to let you know XD**

**Please Read&Review! Enjoy:)**

**DISCLAIMER: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco doesn't own The 39 Clues or their characters.. Only her own. **

* * *

I woke up the next morning faster than I ever had before. I threw on some leather short shorts, a grey tank top, a leather jacket with studs on the collar, and some pink & purple DC shoes. I brushed out my pink, blue and purple hair and applied my makeup.

Then I sprinted downstairs at about a hundred miles a minute, almost tripping over, like, everything.

Emma was making breakfast. She frowned at me. "Why are you in such a hurry?"

I grabbed the counter to slow myself down. I took some deep breaths. "Black Ops || comes out today and I need to get there early to get the Hardened Edition with exclusive collector coins, Nuketown 2025, extra camo, cool zombie maps, and-and—"

Emma grinned. "Lindsay, the store doesn't open for another 30 minutes.

I looked at the wall clock. It was 8:30.

"I don't care!" I shouted, running towards the door. "I need Black Ops Twooooooooo!"

Outside, Hamilton was just climbing into his Dodge Ram. I jumped and ran right up to his door.

"Hamilton!" I shrieked.

He sursauted. "What?"

"Where are you going?"

"The track."

"Why?"

"I sort of qualified for the Olympics. I need to train. So if you don't mind..."

He went to close his door, but I held it open. "Can you take me to Walmart quickly? Please?"

Hamilton shook his head in amusement. "Fine. But I'm not coming back here so you can either walk back or stay at the track."

Hmm... Exercise, or pretending to watch exercise but actually play my iPod? Decisions, decisions.

"I'll just watch you at the track." I exclaimed, hopping into the passenger seat.

This was possibly going to be the weirdest day ever. I mean, I'm spending a whole day with Hamilton (of all people) and Emma and Dan get the house to theirselves. I couldn't wait to hear about what they did.

We got to Walmart and I jumped out of the before Ham even stopped the truck.

I got to the electronics section, and saw some retard talking to the clerk. I pushed him out of the way. "I need the Black Ops || Hardened Edition."

The clerk guy laughed. "Okay. And you're lucky, we only have one copy left."

I paid for it and left, basically squealing with happiness. I met Hamilton back in the truck and he continued to drive to the track.

We got there and this really really really really really really really really really hot dude was waiting there.

He must've been around 20-ish years old. He had golden locks of hair, amber eyes, a perfect smile, amazing jaw structure... And to top it all off he was shirtless.

ERMERGERD ABS *.*

"Who's the hot schmuck?" I asked.

Ham smirked. "That's Vince Walsh. He's my trainer, and he's won ten gold medals in the Olympics."

"Jeez. Okay then."

"Hey, Vince," Ham greeted as we stepped out of the car.

'Vince' smirked. "Hey, Hammer. Who's this?"

I closed my mouth. "I'm Lindsay. I don't know why you haven't heard of me, but I am Hamilton's sidekick. We fight crime with tomato paste and silly string."

Vince glanced at Ham. "How old is she?"

"Fourteen."

"Almost fifteen." I remarked

Hamilton tossed a duffle bag over his shoulder. "I'll see you later, Linds."

I stuck my tongue out at him.

"Don't make me take Black Ops || back."

My eyes widened. Instead of apologizing, I wrapped my arms around his torso and said, "You the best 23rd cousin 10 times removed ever!"

Hamilton and Vince stalked off to the field. I went and sat on the bleacher's.

I played my iPod until Ham and Vince actually started running.

Hamilton is freaking amazing.

He got into the starting position, then Vince blew his whistle. Ham jumped up and started sprinting at a fair speed. He hopped four hurdles easily, then there was a gap between those ones and the next ones. In that gap he picked up speed and he was going so fast it just wasn't human. The next hurdles were a little taller, and Hamilton jumped over two at a time. What a f*cking psycho.

After the hurdles there was a 40 yard sprint to the finish line, and Ham cleared that in four seconds exact. I was basically gaping, unable to control my shock.

Hamilton was breathing heavily. He drank half of his Gatorade, looked up at me, and grinned.

He and Vince talked for a few. My mouth still wasn't closed.

Hamilton waved his hand, signaling me to come down. After finally shutting my mouth (Gods, that was so hard) I walked down to the field.

I wonder what we're gonna do...


	5. Chapter 4

**I really want some food... But I'm on my bed... And the kitchen is so. Far. Away. Ugh. **

**Anyways, new chapter . **

**This chapter is in Emma's Point Of View :3**

**ENJOYYY**

**DISCLAIMER: I swear upon the River Styx that I, TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco, do not own the 39 Clues or their characters; only my own. **

* * *

**Emma's p0v**

Dan came down the stairs half dressed and basically half dead.

He trudged into the kitchen and plopped himself down at the table. Dan had his famous 'make me f*ck all' expression on his face.

"Hungry?" I asked, smiling a little.

"Yeah."

"I'm making French toast."

"But I'm English."

"English muffin?"

"EW WHAT KIND OF MONSTER DO YOU THINK I AM?!"

"Um, cereal?"

"Do you have Captain Crunch?"

"Yeah."

"Then I'll have that."

Dan got up and started making his cereal. I took a piece of French toast, dipped it into a cup of syrup and took a bit.

I felt a buzz in my pocket. I pulled out my phone and read the text.

_Hey! Here's my drift —_

_Come to the Malibu pier at noon. _

_Doesn't matter what you're wearing, cuz they'll have a stylist. _

_You're doing a photo shoot to see if the head of L.A. Models thinks you're worthy. _

_If you are, then you'll probably have to move to L.A. _

_Don't forget your portfolio! _

_~Kevin(:_

I started jumping up and down, doing a mixture of squealing a shrieking. I can't believe I might actually get a contract with L.A. Models!

Dan picked up his bowl and simply walked out of the room.

"Dan!" I called.

"What?"

"Can you babysit for a few hours?"

"Depends."

"On what?"

"Where you're going."

"The pier—"

"The pier?"

"Yeah, the pier."

"Then I'm coming."

"Dan!"

"Do you know how much cool games they have at the arcade?"

"Yes. I've been there a billion times."

"So you know why I want to go."

"Well, I guess. But what about Ryder and Lindsay?"

"Speaking of sausages, where is pink hair Lindsay?"

"She's with Hamilton."

"Which is...?"

"The track."

"F*ck. Just leave the kids here."

"Screw your ugly face, Dan!"

"As to you!"

I pulled out my cell phone and dialed my friend Sadie's number.

"Sadie?" I asked when she picked up on the second ring.

"Hey, Emz! Babysitting crisis?"

"Yeah. Are you busy? It'll only be for an hour or two."

"No problem! Drop them off whenever!"

"Kk, thanks a bunch!"

"No probs!"

I hung up. Sadie is such an amazing friend. We met a while back, when we were both 6. My, um, parents took Casper, Cheyenne and I to the beach house. Sadie was our next door neighbor. Her and I became basically best friends, until I moved back to Texas. She still lives next door, thankfully.

I ran upstairs and started packing the kids' bag.

Blankets. Check.

Diapers. Check.

Bottles. Check.

Blah blah blah, other baby crap. Check.

I looked into Ryder's crib. For once he was sound asleep at 10:00 am. He looked so adorable.

Damn I make good babies.

I leaned over and scooped up Ryder. "Hey, Hun. It's time to wake up now."

Slowly, his eyes fluttered open. Ryder didn't cry at all. He just stared at me, making a small smile creep to my lips.

"Hey, baby." I whispered.

Ryder smiled. Then he started laughing. Oh my gosh, cutest baby award!

"Good. You're up."

I put him down on the floor. Next I bent over an picked up Lindsay.

She didn't even move a muscle when I picked her up.

"Lindsay," I whispered, tickling her stomach. "Wake up."

I love when Lindsay wakes up because at first her eyes open slowly, then they get really wide and she basically starts hyperventilating until she realizes it's me.

I balanced her on my hip and picked up Ryder again.

"Dan!"

"I'm trying to eat."

"Just come carry a bag for me."

"Ew, no thanks."

"Dan, seriously."

"Magic word?"

"F*ck you."

"Incorrect! That's two words!"

"You are a faggot. Just help me this one time."

"Ugh. I wish Lindsay was here."

I smirked. "She is here. I'm holding her."

"Don't f*ck with me."

"Just get up here."

Slowly, heavy stomps were heard from the staircase. Dan moped his way into the bedroom, and he picked up the bag.

I frowned. "Dan, you're not dressed."

"F*ck."

Dan dropped the bag and walked out the room. I heard a door slam.

"Listen," I said the the kids I was holding "If you ever repeat any of the words, ever until you're thirteen, I will personally take away your toys."

After about half an hour, the kids had been dropped off and Dan was beating up some douche at an arcade game. I found Kevin right away.

He led me to the tent where they'd be styling me. I was doing a bikini shoot with five other girls. Fun part? L.A. Models will only be choosing two out of the six girls.

I got a neon yellow bikini that fit perfectly, and since it was so bright, it made my sun-tanned skin glow.

I got my hair tied back into a ponytail, and my makeup was done in a natural look. I got called and I slowly stood up.

Damn I was nervous.


	6. Chapter 5

**Guys. I got a ZaggMate. Google it if you don't know what I'm talking about.**

**And My Chemical Romance is breaking up D:**

**Also, I am pretty sure you already know this, but I ****_am_**** Canadian. They are called ****_POGOs_**** not ****_CORNDOGS_**** okay? k.**

**DISCLAIMER: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own The 39 Clues or their characters, only her own.**

* * *

"What?" I called, jogging towards Ham and Vince.

"I want you to race Hammer." Vince told me, smirking.

I scowled. "No way in f*cking hell am I racing that alien. He runs f*cking faster than Jonah Wizard from screaming girls! He runs faster than-than... Than that person that runs really fast!" I ranted, using seizure-like hand gestures as I went.

"Lindsay, I've seen you run. You are amazing. I'll go easy on you if I need to." Hamilton said.

"I don't see the point in this." I stated, folding my arms across my chest.

"There is no point. It's all for fun." Vince told me.

My frown deepened. "F*ck you stupid f*cked up ugly—"

I paused.

There was four boys about my age going to sit on the bleachers. Oh gods, what the f*ck is up with my luck.

Thanks Tyche.

Those dickheads were supposed to be in Canada! What the f*ck?!

More importantly, who spends their f*cking vacations watching people train at a track?

Who f*cking goes on vacations in the middle of February?!

I looked over at Ham. "I'll race you. But only this once."

Vince moved all the taller hurdles out of the way, and spread the smaller ones out more. I took off my jacket and hung it on the fence.

"On your mark," Vince said. "Get set. Go!"

He blew a whistle and Ham and I were off.

Yes, I'm a fast runner. I'm not a Tomas though, and I'm not nearly as fast as Ham.

I was a few paces behind Ham when we finished. I fell to the ground, totally scraping open my legs. They stung like hell, but I managed to throw my hands in air, signaling I was alive.

Vince clapped his hands and whistled. "That was amazing, Lindsay!"

Hamilton helped me to my feet. I gazed down at my legs. Sure enough, I had tore open most of my shins and thighs just from skidding a few meters on the dirt.

"Damn. Um, I'll be right back. I just gotta, um, go." I mumbled, sprinting to the truck.

Cautious Emma and Ham obviously had a first aid kit in their truck. If they didn't, I would qualify them as bad parents. But, they do, so they are SuperMegaFoxy Parents.

I cleaned up my legs until they stopped bleeding. I didn't need bandages. Nobody needs bandages; they just want bandages.

BANDAGES; A NOVEL BY LINDSAY CAHILL.

I got out and slammed the door closed. The four boys were still at the bleachers when I was walking back. I was positive they wouldn't talk to me—

"Hey," One of them called. "Your a good runner."

I spun on my heel. Eric said that. Yes, the Eric Williams that I nearly killed with a poison dart.

"Thanks." I replied. I turned around again and kept walking.

"Who's the other guy you were racing? He's crazy," Quinn stated.

"That's Hamilton Holt," I answered. "He qualified for the Olympics."

"Damn. He is a beast. We should get his autograph." Andrew said.

"How do you know him?" Jakob asked.

"He's my best friend's fiancé."

"How old is he?"

"18."

"Oh. Wanna come sit with us?" Eric asked. "You seem cool."

I smirked. I am way cooler than you think. "Sure."

I climbed up the bleachers and sat between Eric and Jakob. "Don't try anything funny, because I have a boyfriend."

"I wouldn't try anything if you never told us your name." Andrew told me. "By the way, I'm Andrew, that's Eric, that's Jakob and that's Quinn."

I was tempted to say Liz Marsh, like I seriously debated for a whole three seconds. I didn't want to say my real name, because I'm supposed to be in, like, serious hiding. So, instead, I said,

"Liz Gomez."

Eric's face hardened. "When you said Liz, I'd thought you'd say Marsh."

I frowned. "Who's Liz Marsh?"

Quinn laughed. "There's some crazy sociopathic fugitive chick that put Eric in a coma a while ago named Liz Marsh."

"She shot me with some KGB poison dart. After she shot me she jumped out the window of the school." Eric explained.

"Yeah, we all looked out the window and she ran crazy fast." Jakob noted.

"Mhmm. She was almost as fast you." Andrew commented.

I crossed my arms. "That's stupid. What kind of freak poisons innocent people?"

Lol, me.

"I know right? Police are still looking for her." Eric informed me.

"Huh," I sighed. Police never give up. "Well, I'm going to the pier. It's, like, a few blocks away, right?"

"Yeah. Don't you have to tell Hamilton?" Quinn asked.

I put my fingers in my mouth and whistled. Like, loudly. Hamilton and Vince glared at me. "I'm going to the pier. If I'm not back by the time you have to leave, just go ahead."

"Have fun!" Ham called.

"Not too much fun!" Vince added.

I flipped him the finger, and him and Ham burst out laughing. F*cktards.

Eric, Andrew, Quinn, Jakob and I jumped off the bleachers. I had no idea why I suggested to go to the pier. Maybe it was my sociopath side of me talking.

We got there in under twenty minutes. The pier was wicked cool. I was interested in the arcade games personally.

Eric bought us all corn dogs (Why are you saying corn dogs? It's pronounced pogos) and we headed for the arcade.

I nearly dropped my _POGO_ when I saw Emma doing a photo shoot. Her eyes met mine, utter confusion plastered on her face. Damn, thats gonna be a bad pic.


	7. Chapter 6

**Hey guys! Happy Easter!:)**

**I didn't get that much chocolate.. I'm not sure if that's good or bad :P I only got 14 mini chocolate eggs because my brother's inner fat kid near god shoved me down the stairs. **

**Also... The new A Rocket To The Moon album came out on Tuesday! I looooooove Lost And Found && Another Set Of Wings :)**

**Oh and kinda funny story XD on my iPod I had my passcode as 'Directioner' but my brother figured it out so I changed it to 'auntieemsgardengnomeemporium ' (Auntie Em's Garden Gnome Emporium) XD it's gonna take him a long while to figure that out. **

**AND I MIGHT POSSIBLY BE DYING MY HAIR PINK, BLUE AND PURPLE asdfghjkl; **

**Then I'm going to change my name to Lindsay lol jk**

**Anyways, sorry for the long waits for me to update. I've been super busy.. Homework, and other stuff. Enjoy this chapter! :D**

**DISCLAIMER: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or their characters, only her own. **

* * *

**Emma's point of view**

My stomach was doing flips. I took a couple deep breaths.

The other five girls snorted. One muttered, "Nothing special. Probably can't model."

I was so tempted to flip her the finger I had to grit my teeth and walk in slow, forced steps.

I put on a smile and said hi to the photographer. Who just happened to be Jez Smith Omg fangirl.

I stood on the pedestal, remembering all the key things for good shots.

- Always find your light

- Never forget the neck

- Find different angle

From the looks of Jez's, Kevin's and the head of L.A Models' faces, they were impressed. I had a roll of 50 shots. I only got to about forty when I saw her.

The pink haired little devil who should've been at the track and not hanging out at the pier with four random boys.

Lindsay's eyes met mine. Lindsay started mouthing 'Keep modeling, I'm not here' over and over again. So I ignored her and took my last few shots.

When I was done, Kevin enveloped me in a hug. "Oh my gosh! You are such a fantastic model! You are sure to get a spot!"

I smiled. "Thanks. I saw a friend here, so can I go talk to her quick?"

"Of course, just get changed first."

"Definitely."

I quickly pulled on my green short shorts, flowy lavender tank top and zebra heels. Then I spirited out of the tent and back to the pier.

Lindsay was laughing and eating a corn dog with four random boys. While her boyfriend was just a couple feet away playing PAC-Man.

I punched her shoulder the boys stares at me oddly. Lindsay glared at me.

"Sup, Emma?"

"Hey, where's Hamilton?"

"The track."

"Why did you leave him?"

"I wanted a pogo." Lindsay clarified, waving around the CORN DOG in my face. I shoved it away.

"Where's Dan?"

Lindsay's eyes went wide. "He's here?! Aw hell."

She turned to the four other boys. "I'll be right back."

Then she ran towards the arcade. I shook my head. Lindsay sometimes.


	8. Chapter 7

**DONNIE DARKO IS THE BEST MOVIE EVER. **

**K, well, Hunger Games is still my favorite.. BUT DONNIE DARKO IS A VERY CLOSE SECOND. it's on Netflix, so if you it WATCH DONNIE DARKO. **

**I had a school dance last night. It was neon themed. TONS happened. A guy I liked back in fourth grade asked me out. But I have a boyfriend. Dadundundunn. **

**AND IT'S BLOODY APRIL AND THERE IS STILL A SHITLOAD OF SNOW WHERE I LIVE. At this time last year I was wearing shorts and t-shirts. Ughhh. **

**ERMAGERD I SAW THE SEA OF MONSTERS TRAILERRRRRRRRRRR. **

**AND I GOT INTO A FIST FIGHT AT SCHOOL WOOOHOOO. **

**#sugar**

**(and I'm also obsessed with saying 'hashtag-this and hashtag-that')**

**AAAAAAAND MY NEW FAVORITE WORD IS: Flabjax. **

**Thank you for teaching me that word, Emily Strange. **

**DISCLAIMER:: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or their characters, only her own. **

* * *

I saw Dan right away at the PAC-Man machine.

"Hey," I greeted, kissing him on the cheek

Dan frowned. "Hey, what are you doing here?"

I shrugged. "It doesn't matter. But please call me Liz until we get to the mansion."

"Why?"

"I'm hanging out with Eric Williams." I replied, winking.

"So why is your name Liz?"

"It's a joke."

"Oh. Go away, I just lost, like two lives talking to you."

I took his face in my hands and kissed him hard. Dan's hands fell off the controls and a low 'wah wah waaaaah' was heard from the machine.

I pulled away. "Now you lost three lives."

Dan and I went back to where Eric, Jakob, Quinn, Andrew and Emma were.

I introduced the boys to Dan and they hit it off pretty well. Then Emma just HAD to drive us back home.

I got punished for being too awesome and was told not to leave the house for the rest of the day. Which was fine by me.

I ate a popsicle in the living room while watching TV.

Suddenly, some bitch appeared on the screen.

"We have the latest gossip on teen superstar, Jonah Wizard coming up next."

... Commercials...

"Who is this girl Jonah Wizard has been spotted with numerous times?" Miss Bitch said.

Some pictures of Jonah and this chick appeared on screen. She had long, bleach blonde hair, she was fairly tall with long legs and she was fit.

"Obviously they're very close, from this picture."

Dammit. It showed of picture of them kissing. Well, this girl sure shouldn't get any hate.

"That's Kenzie Dixon." Said some dipshit behind me.

Holy Lord, I must've jumped a good billion feet in the air.

"The f*ck?!" I screamed, standing up and spinning around.

There stood my idiot cousin, Jonah Wizard, and his apparent girlfriend Kenzie Dixon. Whom I just about punched in the face.

"Sup, cuz. I hope y'all don't mind if Kenzie and I stay for a while."

"F*ck off and give me a hug."

I leaned over the couch and hugged him tightly. "Damn, I haven't seen you in ten months exact!"

I faced Kenzie. "How long have you been dating my cousin?"

"Here we go..." Jonah muttered.

"A little over a year," Kenzie replied, smiling a little.

I glared at Jonah. "Why in the hell haven't I met her before?"

"Maybe she didn't want to meet you." Jonah spat.

The front door slammed against the wall. "We're... *epic dramatic intake of breath* In..."

Four suitcases dropped on the floor and my little brother, Luke and my cousin, Phoenix sulked into the living room. I hopped over the couch and tackled them both to the ground.

"Lindsay!" The screamed punching me and sitting on my back.

Yep. We greet each other like bosses.

"Where's Emma and Ham?" Jonah asked.

"And Dan!" Luke and Phoenix screamed in unison.

"Hamilton's still at the track. Emma's probably half dead beside the phone and Dan is playing Black Ops || in his room." I answered.

Luke and Phoenix jumped up and ran upstairs. Thanks for loving me so much.

I took my seat back on the couch. "Well, I'm bored now. Pick any room expect for the Neon Room, Sports Room, Grand Bedroom, Nursery, Video Game room, or the New York room, thank you."

"Lindsay—"

"Jonah, you know this place better than me. Get a life and go."

"You're the one without a life."

"Says you."

"I'm the superstar. You're a Lindsay."

"_The_ Lindsay."

"Whatever."


	9. Chapter 8

**Just realized how short the last chapter is. So I present to you another chapter!**

**PLUS I HAVE A NEW FAVORITE BAND/SONG!**

**Go on YouTube and watch "It's All About You (4Ply) by Boys Who Cry"**

**:') **

**AND I FOUND OUT MY SCHOOLS WIFI PASSWORD YESTERDAY SO I CAN GO ON FANFICTION, TWITTER, WATTPAD, AND INSTAGRAM DURING LUNCH YEAY. **

**DISCLAIMER:: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or their characters, only her own. **

* * *

As I predicted with my magical Lindsay powers, Emma was half dead at the kitchen table. Her cell phone was in front of her.

Mini Lindsay and Ryder were having - shudder - food in their highchairs.

Kenzie started gushing over the kids. Jonah sat down across from Emma, staring at her intently.

Emma didn't even flinch when we walked in. Her half closed eyes were set on that phone and nothing else.

"Emma?" I asked, getting annoyed by her retarded-ness.

"Mmm?"

"Jonah, Luke, Phoenix and Kenzie are here."

"Mmm."

"Oh my gods." I slapped her really hard upside the head. "SNAP OUT OF IT!"

Emma jumped. "Ow."

She held a on her head. "What the hell was that for?!"

"Jonah, Kenzie, Phoenix and Luke are here." I told her.

Jonah waved from across the table.

Emma leaned over the table and did her stupid hand shake with Jonah.. They made it up a few years ago and still have it memorized... Then she got up and said hi to Kenzie.

Emma's phone rang. She shrieked, "Don't move! Don't talk! Shut up!"

She glanced at the caller ID. Then she picked up her phone excitedly. "Hello? Yeah, it's Emma. Mhmm. Really? Really?! Oh my gosh, thank you so much! And you have my email, right? Okay. Bye."

She hung up and started jumping around.

"What?" We all asked.

Emma grinned hugely. "We're moving to L.A, baby!"


	10. Chapter 9

**Guise. So. Much. To. Say. **

**I'll try to make this short... Well, I have two new nicknames. Aunt Jamima and Bon'QuiQui...**

**Also, (super good news) I GOT A TON OF MCD WRITTEN SO EXPECT MORE FREQUENT UPDATES!**

**And I just got 3 centimeters of snow today (didn't have to go to school. Yup.) so it basically looks like winter outside.**

**And guess what me and my sister are doing! Today we both bought completely random books from the bookstore (mine is called "Once Every Never") and basically what we're going to do is, each day we read, and there is a sentence, a phrase or a word in the book that describes how we're feeling, then we hilight it. Once we finish the book we can flip through it and see how we were feeling each day. So, it's basically like a diary but written in someone else's words. **

**And this is a reply to ****The Random Citizen Who Gave Me A Review As A Guest:**** thanks XD and I can't somewhat speak French. I'm not too good at it, though, because my French teachers at school absolutely suck. And my boyfriend is doing okay, thanks for asking ;) **

**DISCLAIMER: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or their characters, only her own. Bai. Enjoy. Review Pwease. Shanks. **

* * *

Okay, well they're apparently not moving right away. Emma's contract doesn't start for another month or so.

Which is good, for so many reasons.

We got Chinese for dinner. Emma was the only freaking person at the table who knew how to use chopsticks. She must be a serial killer.

Anyways, after dinner we decided to have an epic Sorry match.

So the teams were

Emma, Kenzie, me

Jonah, Luke, Phoenix & Dan

I had Lindsay on my lap the whole time. Kenzie had Ryder.

We were very impatiently waiting for Luke to take his turn.

"So, Luke..." I said. "Gonna take your turn?"

"It's me? Dammit, that's what I thought! It's just — never mind." He picked up the card and moved the right amount of spaces.

"Luke... You gotta girlfriend?" I asked. I love making my brother embarrassed. It's so much fun.

His eyes went so wide it wasn't even funny. "No! But Phoenix does!"

I smirked at Phoenix.

"No I don't!" Phoenix defended. "It's just because this girl was my science partner so we had to work together. Now we're friends and we hang out a lot."

"And you know where that's going to lead?" I asked Phoenix, smirking at Emma. She grinned.

"Premature sex." Emma and I joked.

Dan, obviously, burst out laughing.

Jonah and Kenzie were holding back laughs.

Phoenix looked like he just saw murder. "Oh my God! No! I swear, we're just friends—"

"I know, relax," I chided. "I'm only messing with you."

Dan pulled a quarter from his pocket. "Percy Jackson movie quote."

"Who said it?" I asked myself, taking the money. "Luke Castellan, son of Hermes! Booyah!"

"Okay, now shut up. Da Wiz is taking his turn." Jo said, picking up his card.

Mr McCool over here picked up a one. Loser.

Theeeeeen, Kenzie picked up the drunk man card. Which basically means you have to turn your piece on it's side and go backwards until you get home. Then you can go forwards again. (Jenna Marbles)

We played until Hamilton came back from the track. It was around 8-ish when he did.

[Two Days Later (said in announcer's voice from Spongebob)]

We was all just sitting on dem nice couches, watching TV. Emma was holding Ryder and Ham had Lil Lindsay.

"Oh my sausage!" Luke jumped up. "I have an idea!"

"Does it have something to do with food?" I asked, folding my arms.

Luke frowned. "No. Well, if you look at it a certain way..."

I glared at him.

"I was just going to say we should have chicken fights!" Luke exclaimed.

Everybody was confused.

"Um, like, in here?" Dan asked.

"The floors are hardwood, it would hurt a lot if we fell." Kenzie said.

"So? We're Cahill's!" Luke stomped his foot on the ground for emphasis.

"It's not like we drank the serum, though." Hamilton reminded us.

"I almost did..." Dan mumbled.

Emma, Jonah and Hamilton burst out laughing. "I remember that!"

"Why are you laughing?!" Phoenix asked. "That's serious shit!"

"We're laughing cuz Ames was all dramatic about it, and she switched the serum with maple syrup!" Jonah explained.

"Point — Canadians!" I cheered, pumping my fist in the air.

"So, the serum looks like maple syrup?" Luke asked. "Sweet!"

"What are you guys talking about?" Kenzie questioned, a confused look on her face.

"Uh..." Damn, we completely forgot about Kenzie!

"Guys, be more careful before you start talking about Cahill stuff!" Emma told us.

Luke sighed. "Sorry. So chicken fights or not?"

Kenzie tried to get us to slip info, but nope. We completely ignored her. We all agreed to Luke's stupid game.

So, Emma put the kids by their toys on the carpeted floor, then got on Hamilton's shoulders. Kenzie got on Jonah's shoulders, and I got on Dan's.

Luke got on Phoenix's, and it was pretty hilarious.

"GO!" Luke screamed.

The exact second we started pushing each other, someone came through the door. Luke and Phoenix fell over. Luke grabbed Emma's arm as he fell so her and Ham fell too.

The person that entered was at a loss for words. Emma, Hamilton, Luke and Phoenix were sprawled on the floor cursing and grunting. I kicked Jonah's stomach and pushed Kenzie's shoulders. Their toppled over and Dan and I were victorious.

"Woo—!"

Dan ruined the moment by tripping over Hamilton's arm and we killed everyone else(not literally).

We were all laughing our asses off.

Then we realized that the person that came in was Amy. Behind her was Sinead, Ned, Ted, Nellie, Fiske, Ian, Natalie, Evan, Jake, Atticus, Alistair, and all of Ham's family. (Mary-Todd, Eisenhower, Madison, and Reagan).

"Mature," Mary-Todd grumbled.

We got up and hugged everyone. Well, I hugged ALMOST everyone *cough* Cobras *cough*

Then mostly everyone started gushing over the babies. Guys, really? I'm still here!

Emma asked everyone to sit down. Luke, Phoenix, Dan, Atticus, Madison, Reagan, Ned, Ted and I all sat on the floor. Stupid Cobras were mumbling about how AWESOME, SEXY, FASHIONABLE, AND CLASSY US KIDS WERE. Amy and Sinead had the babies, btw.

"Okay," Emma took a deep breath. "As you all know, Hamilton and I are engaged."

"Woo!" I cheered, and everyone else joined in. Emma blushed and Hamilton kissed her passionately.

"Okay, settle down," Emma said. "So, um, you also know that there in a day between the kids' birthday, and Lindsay's birthday..."

"And we decided that that's when we're going to get married." Hamilton finished for his fiancé (OMGASDFGHJKL).


	11. Chapter 10

**#PrayForBoston :(**

**In other shanklebakes, I got stuck in a tree today. Yeah, and my sister was laughing at me. Then I went back on the 39 Clues Message Board for the first time since January... Holy crap is all I can say. Th whole front page was One Direction fanfictions -.- Don't get me wrong, I love 1D, but it's a 39 CLUES Message Board... Not a 1D Message Board. **

**Tomorrow is Semi-Colon Project 416. For people who haven't heard of it, basically all you have to do is draw a semi-colon on your wrist (a semi-colon is used when an author should finish a sentence, but decides not to. The author is you and the sentence is your life) if you have ever self-harmed, are depressed, have anxiety, are unhappy, if you're getting over a broken heart, or anything along those lines. I'm going to do it.. :\**

**Anyhoodle, I hope you enjoy chappie ten. I love this chapter. So much. For no reason. I just love it. K bai. **

**DISCLAIMER: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own T39C or their characters only her own. **

* * *

Everybody was silent.

"Are you sure about this?" Mary-Todd asked.

"Yeah, guys, that's like, 3 and a half weeks away." Sinead pointed out.

"Totally. It won't be that hard." Emma told them.

"Okay, then who would you invite?" Ian asked.

"All of you guys, obviously," Ham stated.

"Plus Aunt Cora, Uncle B, Sadie, Kevin, Vince, um..." Emma faced Ham. "And Cheyenne and Casper."

Hamilton clenched his jaw. "Fine. But I'm telling you, they'll blow down the building, take the kids, poison them, hold them hostage until you take the title of V3 back—"

"God, Ham, that's not going to happen." Madison noted.

"Okay so that's settled. Who would be best man and maid of honor?" Jonah asked.

"Well, Lindsay would be maid of honor. Brides maids would be Amy and Sinead." Emma decided.

"Best man would be Jonah and the whatever you call the other guys would be Dan and Jake." Hamilton said. Jake and Ham did their stupid handshake.

"Thank God." Ian gasped, flicking some locks of hair out of his eyes. "I was almost sure you'd pick me."

Hamilton just shook his head, staring at Ian remorsefully.

"Yeah. So, that's all we needed to say." Emma finished.

"Great. Well, Eisenhower and I have a very important meeting to attend to. Maddy and Reagan are going to stay with you guys." Mary-Todd told us.

They left, and Alistair & Fiske had to leave, too. Amy asked if the Cahill's could just stay until the wedding. Obviously, the answer was yes.

Dan asked Madison, Reagan, Phoenix, Atticus, Natalie, Luke, Ted (Who was now cured of his blindness) and Ned (Who was now cured of his headaches) to come to his bedroom. We all obeyed.

Dan closed his door. "Pranks."

We all grinned and shared some fist bumps.

"We need to do something big!" Luke said.

"Yeah!" Ted agreed. "Something that includes all the Cahill's—"

"—and gets them all embarrassed some way." Ned finished for his twin.

"I might have a few ideas to pitch in," Natalie told us.

We listening intently, and made suggestions here and there. Then, finally, we came up with the greatest prank in history.

••••Ted&Ned••••

Ted tossed on his long black robe, a Death mask, and grabbed the hoe he had retrieved from the shed.

Ned finished applying his makeup. He had made sure his face has pure white, then he used red lipstick and smeared it all around his lip. He put on tons of blue eyeshadow, too.

Ned also had on a crazy outfit, that included a video camera necklace him and Ted had made a while back.

They ran into the closet of Emma and Hamilton's bedroom.

Ted was grinning and Ned was bouncing around giddily.

It was about 10-ish, so Emma and Hamillton should've been going to bed by then.

Finally the door open and Emma & Ham fell onto the bed.

"Please, Ham?"

"..."

"Ham?"

"..."

"Are you even listening to me?"

"I stopped listening 10 minutes ago."

"Jerk."

"Ouch, right in the feels."

"Shut up, you dolt. Now answer my question."

"What was your question?"

"You seriously weren't listening?"

"Nope."

"God. Well—"

That's when Ned and Ted jumped out of the closet.

Emma shrieked loudly. Hamilton jumped up and started beating the twins with a pillow.

The whole time Ned and Ted were laughing.

••••Atticus••••

Atticus Rosenbloom was on his own for this one.

He took the ketchup bottle from the kitchen and got to the grand staircase.

Atticus emptied the entire bottle, then chucked it somewhere behind him. He got down into and awkward position on the stairs.

He couldn't hide his smile, though. It was just too hilarious.

About half an hour before they had set up a hidden camera in the pillar in front of the stairs, so that part was all good.

"GUYS!" Atticus shrieked. "HELP! HELP I'M — AAAAAAAH!"

Jake, Nellie and Kenzie ran out from the kitchen.

"What happen, Kidd—OH MY GAWD!" Nellie screamed.

"Atticus!" Jake yelled, jumping up the stairs to his brother.

"What-? What happened?!" Kenzie asked, her face pale as a ghost.

Nellie got to Atticus, too. "Are you alright? Do you need an ambulance?"

Atticus didn't respond.

"Att? Talk to me," Jake pleaded, shaking his limp brother.

Atticus slowly licked the ketchup off his fingers. "My blood... It tastes like ketchup."

He grinned wickedly, and Jake landed a punch to his brother's gut.

••••Natalie&Lindsay••••

Lindsay loosely trailed behind Natalie Kabra. They each had bottles of bleach blonde dye in their hands.

"Okay, you can go ahead to Amy's room, I'll take Ian's," Natalie said.

Lindsay nodded and rand into Amy's bathroom. Hopefully Amy would wash her hair in the morning.

In separate rooms, but at the same time, the two 14-year-old girls switched shampoo with hair dye.

Tomorrow morning is going to be awesome.

••••Dan••••

Evan and Sinead were talking in the kitchen. It was around 7am.

I got out a cup. "You guys want anything to drink?"

Evan shrugged. Sinead nodded.

Dan poured them each a glass of water, and then dumped as much salt in each cup as he could. He made sure to stir it up until the salt dissolved.

Dan gave them their drinks, and took out his iPod. He kept a blank look on his face, so it seemed like he was playing a game, but he was actually recording.

Evan and Sinead brought the cups to their lips at the same time.

••••Reagan&Madison••••

The two twins finished filling up the bucket with mayo, mustard, salmon, chocolate sauce, maple syrup, and milk.

The balanced the bucket on top of the door to the library.

Reagan pressed the button on the nearest intercom. "Emma-Lea Cahill and Hamilton Holt—"

"Your assistance is needed at the library." Madison finished for her twin.

The hide behind one of the bookshelves. Madison had her iPad to record it.

"Guys, it's 7:30 in the morn—"

As Emma pushed the door open, the bucket and the contents fell and drenched the couple.

Madison and Reagan burst out laughing. They shared some high fives.

"I suggest you run," Hamilton warned, rubbing milk out of his eyes."

Their smiles dropped.

••••Phoenix&Luke••••

Jonah Wizard was lying on his bed with his headphones on. No doubt listening to his own music.

There, at his door, sat a brand new hundred dollar bill. Little did Jonah know that the money was attached to a string.

The gangster spotted the money, and put his headphones around his neck. "Come to papa."

As he bent down to get the bill, it jerked a few feet away. This action continued all the way to one of the smaller staircases.

Jonah thought he had it, but obviously didn't. He ended up toppling down the stairs, and into a bucket of tar.

Yup, the thick black smelly stuff that hardens into pavement.

Phoenix and Luke appeared from around the corner, both laughing. Luke held a camera.

Jonah flipped them the finger.


	12. Chapter 11

**I AM IN LOVE WITH KELLIN QUINN. **

**do any of y'all listen to Sleeping With Sirens? I'm sort of obsessed right now. **

**I don't really have anything to say right now. Well, school tomorrow. Ugh. Oh, and *sort of spoiler but not really* Chapter 15 is when Lindsay will wake up in the desert, so C15 is when I continue from the Prologue, I guess. **

**DISCLAIMER: **

**Me: FINN!**

***Finn from Adventure Time walks in* **

**Me: Your adventure for today, is to do the disclaimer for my story. **

**Finn: You can't tell me what to do! Plus the Ice King has Princess Bubblegum right now! I gotta save her!**

**Me: Honest to God, Finn, it'll take you three seconds. **

**Finn: *sighs* Ugh, whatever. TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues, or their characters. Only her own. Hey, wanna come adventuring with Jake and I now?**

**Me: *fangirls* OMG YUSS **

* * *

Around 1-ish, a message came from the intercom, spoken by moi. "Please come down to the theatre, we have an important video clip to share with everyone."

Natalie, Dan, Ted, Ned, Phoenix, Luke, Atticus and I spent almost all morning editing this video together.

All of the Cahill's came into the room. Emma and Ham looked like they still had syrup in their hair; Ian and Amy's hair were both bleach blonde, like Kenzie's; and Jonah still had tar on some of his clothes.

We tried to surprise our laughs.

"We also have some food and refreshments for you," Reagan and Madison gestured to a table. On it were various chips, peanuts, and some bottles of coke and Pepsi.

They all sat down with handfuls of either chips of nuts (OMG AHAHAH).

Atticus set up the video and pressed play. Us kids sat down with devious grins on our faces.

Natalie and Dan appeared on screen.

_"Hello, peasants." Natalie greeted. _

_"This little video we are showing is called... Um..." Dan glanced at his hand. "Pranking; A Documentary. Who the hell came up with the name?"_

_"We did!" Ned and Ted called from somewhere else. _

_Dan shrugged. "Oh well."_

Then the scene changed to the kitchen where Phoenix, Reagan and I were.

_"In this video you'll receive explanations for Amy and Ian's hair," I informed them. _

_"And the maple syrup in Ham and Emma's hair," Reagan continued. _

_Phoenix grinned. "And the tar on Jonah's clothes..."_

Atticus appeared on the screen, behind the three of us._ "And my bruises."_

Jake shifted in his seat.

Then Madison, Ned, Ted, Luke, Dan, Natalie all came on screen. _"So sit back relax and enjoy!"_

The scene changed to a closest. You could easily tell it was the footage from Ned's necklace camera cuz it was so shaky.

The camera dangled around, and you could vaguely see someone *cough* Ted *cough* dressed as Death.

You could here Emma and Hamilton talking in the background.

Quickly, Ted and Ned jumped out of the closest. Emma was screaming and Hamilton was bearing the crap out of the twins.

The screen then showed two separate cameras. One was Natalie and the other was me. It showed us switching up the shampoo in Amy & Ian's bathrooms with hair dye.

Then it showed Atticus, Dan, Madison, Reagan, Phoenix and Luke doing their stuff.

At the end, everyone was laughing.

Luke appeared on screen. _"Wait! One more video! One more!"_

Then it showed Dan, Natalie, Luke, Phoenix, Ted, Ned, Atticus, Madison, Reagan and I sucking off the chocolate on chocolate covered peanuts, and putting the peanuts into a bowl.

The same bowl that the Cahill's were eating out of right now.

The video ended and gods, it was hilarious.

Then, Amy and Emma became fun-killers.

"Lindsay, Dan, Natalie, Luke, Phoenix, Madison, Reagan, Ted, Ned and Atticus, you guys are grounded," Emma told us with a triumphant smirk.

"Go to your rooms. Now." Amy ordered.

We reluctantly obeyed. This sucks.

•••••••£•••••••

I sat on my bed taking stupid pictures of myself with my iPad.

I heard a banging noise from the roof. Which sounds absolutely retarded, I know, but its true. It sounded like there was something in the ceiling.

"The hell?" I muttered to myself.

I stood up and walked over to the vent that was on my roof. I heard talking from it.

"This is absolutely disgusting! My Prada shirt is getting all dusty—"

"Shut up, Nat."

"If you didn't want to come then you shouldn't have."

"You guys kind of forced me—"

"Ha, we know."

Then the cage on the vent fell off, and Natalie, Dan, Phoenix, Luke, Madison, Reagan, Atticus, Ned and Ted all squeezed themselves out of the small space and swung themselves to the floor.

"Holy f*ck, my vent is giving birth to a bunch of retarded immigrants!" I gasped.

Everyone glared at me.

"We couldn't exactly go through the halls, but we wanted to plot more evil schemes." Atticus told us.

"Why don't we have a party instead?" I asked. "To the left, Ian's room. Right, Emma and Ham's room. Who wants to piss them off?"

Everybody grinned and agreed.

I put my iPod on the dock an started playing all my songs. Up All Night by One Direction started.

All of us were either jumping on the bed or the floor screaming along to the lyrics. Well, most of them didn't know the lyrics, so they just jumped.

"I wanna stay up all night, and jump around until we see the sun! I wanna stay up all night and find a girl and tell her she's the one!" I sang jumping around.

To my right, there was a loud banging noise. "Would you shut the f*ck up?!"

"No, we shan't!" Ted and Ned simultaneously yelled.

We all laughed to ourselves.

"Come on! Nat, you're not seriously in there are you?" Emma asked.

"Yeah. It's actually fun not caring." Natalie replied.

"Ugh," Emma groaned. "You used to be sane! Now I'm forever alone!"

"What about me?" Hamilton shouted.

"Shut up, I can tell you want to go in there." Emma said.

"Yeah, but Hamilton shan't come in here," Reagan stated.

"Because he shan't be in the same room as us when we are having fun." Madison added.

"Stop saying shan't!" Emma screeched

"We shan't." Atticus blurted out. We burst out laughing.

"You goes can go to hell."

"Come on, Emma. Lighten up!" I tried.

"No."

"Well f*ck you too then." I said, cranking up the music even louder.

Dan started pounding on the left wall. "Yo, Cobra! You're sister is having fun!"

"Shame. Now be quiet before I call animal control." Ian shouted back.

"But we're human!" Luke replied.

"Not according to everyone else the mansion."

Luke pressed the button on the intercom. "Jonah, you think we're human, right?"

Jonah's voice replied over the intercom. "Yeah, sure. Now shut up and can hear you a floor down."


	13. Chapter 12

**Jaspal Binning****. That's all ****I**** have to ****s****ay.**

**Well, actually, ****I**** have ****a**** BILLIO****N**** TRILLION OTHER THINGS TO SAY... Not. **

**Cool thing: I LEARNT THE ****K****NIFE SONG ****A****ND IM REALLY ****B****OSS AT IT {I have a video of me doing it on Keek.. My use****r**** name is: Foreva_****A****loner}**

**I'm just kind of obsessed with codes right now. Mwahahah. **

**Enjoy the chapter, and have fun figuring out the code I put in this Author's Note! :)**

* * *

I hate my life.

Actually, I hate the F*ckie f*ck f*ck that invented shopping.

Yeah... It's been a week and half since the great pranking day. Emma is making me, Amy and Sinead go dress shopping.

Amy and Sinead seemed excited. I was grumbling and dragging my feet the whole time.

"I want the bridesmaids to be wearing green, okay? Best men are wearing blue." Emma told us, as we walked into a dress shop.

... We flew all the way to Paris, France to go dress shopping. I'm not even joking.

The guys, obviously, went to Las Vegas. And Jake's the only one that is legally allowed to gamble. Dan isn't even allowed to drink. Gods, they should've just gone to the Bahamas or something.

K, so back to the present. We entered the shop, and realized everything was colour coordinated.

Like, there was a wall for blue dresses, shoes, purses and accessories; green dresses shoes, purses and accessories.. Etc. It was basically empty.

Some chick walked over. She looked like Anna Camp — and I don't like Anna Camp.

"Bonjour, je m'appelle —"

"English!" I interrupted.

Anna Camp glared at me. When she spoke in English, she had a heavy French accent. "Desolé. I'm Valerie."

Emma grinned. "Valerie! Great! I spoke to you on the phone. I'm Emma-Lea."

Valerie nodded. "Okay, go ahead and look around. My friend, Callie, should be in any moment to do the fittings."

Emma nodded and thanked her. I don't see why she thanked her, though, because she looked like a snotty bitch to be honest.

Emma ran straight towards the green dresses.

"I don't know why she's so excited." I mumbled to Amy.

Amy laughed. "It's her wedding, Lindsay. Obviously she's excited."

"You need to lighten up!" Sinead suggested.

I shrugged my shoulders and followed Emma.

"How about this!" Emma shrieked, holding up a green dress. It was flowy and had one strap going over the tighter shoulder and across the back.

"For me?" I asked. Emma nodded. "I'm not just saying this because I want to leave, but I really like it."

"Okay good. Try it on. Size 2, right?" Emma probed, pulling off the correctly sized one off the wall.

I took it and made my way to the change room. The dress fit me perfectly, and in a totally non-selfish way, it looked amazing on my. Like, it was made for me.

Of course when I stepped out of the change room all the girls started gushing at me.

"It's perfect!" Emma shrieked giddily. "Except we might have to tight the underarms so its not as loose up there... Otherwise it's amazing!"

Sinead and Amy got matching short strapless green dresses. We all got the same jewelry, which were silver sparkly earrings, a silver heart necklace, and silver sparkly heels.

And I learned another thing today... I absolutely hate getting fittings.

"Ouch! Daguq lady?!" I yelled. The fitting lady just stabbed me with a needle.

"Sorry, sorry." The lady murmured, only to stab me again.

"Bitch please!" I shrieked.

"Sorry.."

"Lindsay shut up, you'll live." Emma ordered. She was on one of the plush chairs, flipping through some magazine. We were going to some wedding dress store next.

"Can I see one of those pins for a second?" I asked the lady. She gave me an unsure glance but still obeyed.

I hopped off the stool and stabbed Emma in the leg. She screamed and jumped back, nearly tipping over the chair.

"Lindsay!"

"Ha! Now you know how it freaking feels!" I retorted, handing the pin back to the lady.

«»«»«»

It was about 5 in the afternoon when we left. Emma wasn't getting her dress until tomorrow.

Emma, Amy and Sinead had gone to some restaurant for dinner. I didn't want to go so I stayed at the hotel and ordered Chinese.

The hotel was a decent size; Not too big and not too small. We all get our own beds. There's a huge flat screen and a kitchen, plus two bathrooms.

I had my iPod playing music. "Wake Up" by AWOLNATION was on. I poked around at my noodles, and idea coming to mind.

I grab my iPad and started a FaceTime call.

Dan's face eventually appeared on y screen. A grin made its way onto my cheeks.

"Hey," I greeted. "I miss you so much."

"Same here. How's Paris?" Dan replied.

I rolled my eyes. "How's Vegas?"

"It's absolutely sucks. They're all at some casino right now. I have to stay at the hotel. They left me a hundred bucks and I spent most of it on arcade tokens." Dan told me.

I laughed. "Sounds like something you do. They all went to a fancy restaurant — not my cup of tea. I stayed back."

"Cool. I wonder how everyone else is back at Emma's house. You know, cuz Nellie is in charge." Dan stated.

I frowned. "I thought you said Nellie was responsible. You know, cuz she's your au pair and kinda saved your ass a few thousand times."

"Did a mention she almost got us into car accidents a few thousands times?" Dan asked.

"So, she can fly a plane, cook, she's certified in scuba diving and CPR, but she can't f*cking drive a car?" I questioned, raising my eyebrows.

"Legitimate Nellie for you." Dan replied.

I snickered. "So, what else is going on?"

"Nothing really. Just missing you a lot." Dan informed me, smiling.

I smiled back. "Bring me back a keychain."

"Haha. I've already been to Paris and I want nothing more to do with it," Dan stated. I laughed. "Bye, Linds."

"Bye Dan. Love you!" I replied.

"Love you too!"

I ended the call and laid on my back. Why was Dan so awesome?!

*Back at CCC*

I woke up with excitement. Only for, like, a billion reasons.

1) MY BIRTHDAY DAMN STRAIGHT

2) Emma's wedding is tomorrow!

3) We were all back at the mansion yay!

Okay, so three reasons. Not a billion, but whatever same difference.

I got up, brushed my hair and teeth, then got dressed. That's when I noticed the box on my dresser.

I frowned. It was green, with a little purple now on top. I opened it, and inside there was a little note. It read:

Happy Birthday Lindsay!

I want you to work for your gift because its your birthday and I want you to do something you hate, to get the thing you want. (Just double checking, you hate exercise and want your present, right)

Anyways, I'll give you a a couple clues to find the next note.

Clue #1: You usually go here every morning..

Clue #2: The note is taped to your favourite thing in the world (well, after me of course)

Love, Dan

I shook my head in amusement. What a little devil.

I folded up the paper and went downstairs to the kitchen. Amy was down there eating some cereal.

"Happy Birthday, Lindsay." She greeted as I walked down the stairs.

"Thanks." I replied, pulling out the bag of Ruffles from the cupboard.

There, taped to the bag was another note. This one said;

Haha. You're still pretty far from the gift, but not too far from the next note.

Does that count as a clue? Ah who cares.

Clue #1: Circle, triangle, square, X

Love, Dan

Too easy. Circle, triangle, square and X are the buttons on the Play Station controllers... Games room it is.

I left the kitchen and practically ran to the games room. Nobody was in, thankfully. I searched around at all the systems, looking for the controller with the note on it. Finally, I spotted it on the white controller.

Hey. You found note number three! Grab your jacket, the next one requires you to leave the house.

Okay, stop crying, it's not that far a walk.

Clue #1: It's ice now

Love, Dan

Damn him. I pulled on my black Uggs, my toque, my gloves and my winter coat. Why is he making me go outside in the middle if February?!

It's kind of a stupid clue, 'it's ice now'. I'm pretty sure he means the swimming pool out back, but I'm not sure where I'd find the note.

I ran outside and look around the edges of the pool. I saw the note on the diving board.

You found it yay!

Clue #1: He's slender

Clue #2: He's a man

Love, Dan

Okay, that's confusing. Then I noticed a battery in the snow. I furrowed my eyebrows and bent over to pick it up.

Then, some weirdo ran full force, knocking me to the ground. I was winded, and I laid in the snow.

I lifted my head and saw somebody in a suit, red tie, and a white mask run back into the forest. Ohh, Slenderman. Haha.

Slenderman had dropped a note on my stomach. I read that one.

Haha Slenderman got you! So... This next one requires a car. Get, like, Sinead or Jake or someone to drive you. Or anybody else because they all got their licenses.

Clue #1: Fill in the blanks

M _ D d's

Seriously. I went back inside and saw Amy, still in the kitchen.

"Hey, you have your license right?"

••••••••••••

At McDonald's (yeah that's the answer) I sprinted inside and some lady at the counter was all:

"Lindsay Cahill?!"

Then I was all:

"Uh, yeah, how'd you know?"

Then she was all:

"Your boyfriend said that you had pink hair.. He left you this."

She handed me a ten pack of chicken nuggets, with another freaking note taped to the side. Oh gosh this is getting tiring.

LAST NOTE I SWEAR

So.. Remember our first date? Aha radmems..

Clue #1: where we had our first date.. And our first kiss ;)

Love, Dan

I walked back outside and tapped on Amy's window until she rolled it down.

"What?" She asked.

"You can go ahead back to the mansion. I'm going to walk somewhere else." I told her.

"Are you sure?" Amy questioned uncertainly. "Because I can just drive you—"

"It's fine," I stated. "I know where I'm going."

"Okay. Bye." Amy put her window back up and drove away.

So then I leisurely walked to the field. I wasn't 100% sure I was going to right way, until I saw Dan waving at me. A grin took over my face and I broke out into a sprint.

I engulfed him in a hug.

"Happy birthday." Dan whispered.

His cheeks and nose were red from cold. He must've been out here for a while.

"My gods I could kill you right now!" I shouted. Dan had a stunned look on his face. "Making me run around like that! Like, dafuq man?"

"Sorry," Dan said with a smirk. He doesn't look very sorry...

"K, where's my present?" I asked, folding my arms.

"Gosh, Lindsay. Please is a word." Dan scolded.

"Dude, I practically taught you the word please." I remarked, smirking.

Dan pulled out a long box from his jacket pocket. It was a navy blue colour, and it had a pink bow on top.

I took it from him and slowly opened it up. Inside was a necklace.

And it wasn't just an ordinary necklace. It was a thin silver chain, with an infinity symbol on it. It was beautiful.

I caught my breath. "Dan..."

He grinned widely. "You love it, don't you?"

"Yes! Of course I do!" I replied, enveloping him in a huge hug.

I turned around so he could put the necklace on me.

"It looks awesome on you." Dan commented.

I smiled. "Thank you. For the gift, and for making my fifteenth birthday somewhat memorable."

Dan leaned down and kissed me softly. "I try."


	14. Chapter 13 Wedding

**Sorry it's been awhile :P**

**Something I'd like to say; I've only ever been to one wedding and it was three years ago so I skipped a bunch of wedding jizz jazz in this chappie. **

**Oh, and if you go to my profile, I think at the bottom, there's links you can copy and paste to your web browser to see. Pic of Lindsay and Emma and stuff. Yeah. **

**DISCLAIMER:: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own the 39 Clues or their characters, only her own. MWAHAHAHAHAH. **

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•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••  
Emma's Wedding

I stubbornly pulled on my heels.

"Who the hell invented heels?!" I asked Amy and Sinead who were getting ready beside me.

"Lindsay, get out of your bitchy mood and get excited!" Amy said. "It's Emma's wedding, for God's sake!"

"Yeah, whatever."

Okay, truth time. I was really freaking excited. I was all giddy inside and stuff, but I have a reputation to maintain, so I acted like a total bitch.

"Is Emma ready yet?" Amy asked

"I don't know, ask Emma." I mumbled.

"Lindsay you're the maid of honour—" Sinead started, but I cut her off

"Yeah, yeah. Brb." I said, leaving the room.

So... The wedding is at the Cahill Mansion. The backyard, I mean. Yep, there's all chairs and flowers and jazz, along with the makeshift-alter up front. Then we are just going to have the reception at some hall downtown. Then Emma & Ham are going on a honeymoon to Hawaii. Lucky f*cks.

Amy and all them are watching Ryder and Lindsay at the mansion while Emma and Hamilton are gone. Luke, Phoenix and I are going to go back to LA for a bit, then I'm going to go back to the mansion to chill.

So I left the room and found Emma in her bedroom. She honest to God looked depressed.

"What's up?" I asked, sitting on the bed beside her.

Emma wasn't even dressed yet, and she was supposed to be out there in half an hour.

"I just... My heart is saying yes, my stomach is saying no and my brain is telling me to forget it all and go back home."

"What?!" I shrieked, jumping off the bed. I couldn't think of what to say; I was too shocked.

Emma placed her head in her hands.

"I don't understand — you love Hamilton, you have kids... Explain." I told her.

Emma stayed silent. I saw her shoulders slightly shake, as if she were silently crying.

I walked over to her window. It looked out at the backyard. Everything was set up so perfectly; the white chairs each had a silk sheet wrapped in a bow on them; there was a red carpet leading up to the alter; there was also a sort of wall of flowers behind the alter to make it look really cool. People were filing in, filling up the chairs.

I was not letting Emma mess this up.

"Come on, Emma. Time to get ready." I said, grabbing her arm. I tried to lift her up, but I hadn't exactly regained my muscles after breaking my arm, so I'm pretty weak.

Emma ripped her arm away from my grasp. "Just let me think."

"You only have twenty five minutes to think before the ceremony starts."

"I don't care."

"Okay, Emma, you've been planning the prefect wedding since you were thirteen. You finally have the perfect guy to marry and your going to flake out like that ginger — who, coincidentally, is named Emma — from Glee on her wedding day. And on that episode of Glee, the guy she was supposed to marry — Mr Schuester — was devastated when he stood at the alter for an hour before realizing she was gone. Do you want to do that to Hamilton? And knowing that dolt he'll probably go and cry himself a river like Isis did when Set killed Osiris. He'll kill himself like Romeo did when he thought Juliet left him. He'll eventually give up, just like you did on your bloody wedding day. So, unless you want a freaking Glee Club singing some cheesy get-back-together song on your front porch a few weeks from now, I suggest you get your stupid dress on, and go marry that idiot on steroids." I folded my arms and took a huge huff of breath.

I really shouldn't be, but I was seriously pissed off at Emma. She was just going to blow up her chance and a beautiful happy life.

Emma sniffled and glanced at me, tears streaking her cheeks. "Did you make that up on the spot?"

I furrowed my eyebrows. "Yeah."

"Well brava, then. Stay here while I go get my dress on." Emma grinned, gave me a huge hug and left the room.

I stayed frozen on the spot. That stupid lecture I just gave... Changed her mind? Oh my God. I am a miracle worker.

I did some weird handicap-sort fist pump.

I left the room and went back to the room I was original in. Amy and Sinead were talking with huge grins on their faces.

I frowned. "Hey?"

They turned their attention towards me.

"Oh, hey Lindsay. Emma told us about the speech you have her." Amy said.

"Yeah, something about Glee, Shakespeare and Egyptian Mythology...?" Sinead said, giving me a questioning look.

"It worked, didn't it?" I shot back. "Emma was near God ready to fly back to Malibu!"

"Oh my gosh, why?" Amy asked

"She was freaking out. Nothing serious. Nothing I can't handle," I stated, smirking.

Emma came back in. It honestly took her fifteen minutes to put on her dress, shoes and jewelry, do her makeup, and do her hair. What is logic.

Her dress.. Oh gosh it was beautiful. Lets try to do a brief/good description of this magnificent dress.

It was white (duh). It was strapless, and there was small silver jewels outlining the top. It was tight until about the hips, where it exploded into a magical rainbow of sincerity and fireworks.

... Erm scratch that.

It just sort of poufed out in ruffles and such.

She curled her hair and she also had on some silver bracelets and silver heels.

"Have fun walking down the stairs." I commented, giving a nice smile.

Emma flipped me the finger.

Okay so FAST FORWARD.

AAAAAND STOP.

K so we're downstairs now. Jonah, Dan and Jake are all with us. Hamilton's already at the alter and — going by superstition, I guess — he hasn't seen Emma yet before the wedding.

"Who's walking you up the aisle?" I asked Emma.

Before she could answer, an older man stepped inside. He had grey hair, and a nice smile. Who the f*ck let you in here?

"I am," The man answered. "Goodness gracious, Emma-Lea, you look amazing."

Amy, Sinead, Jonah, Jake, Dan and I all gave each other weird looks.

"Dad?!" Emma blurted, a shocked expression on her cheeks. "You.. I never even invited you! And now you show up, saying you're gonna walk me down the aisle!"

Jonah stepped up all non-macho and joined their conversation. "Wait, you're Mr Wyoming? As in, the Mr Wyoming that brutally abused Emma when she was 5-9 years old?"

This Mr Wyoming dickhead opened his mouth like he was going to reply, but I interrupted him.

"Wait, back it up a couple bus stops; you abused my best friend and I didn't even know about this?" I shouted, my temper rising.

Mr Wyoming looked down at the ground, not meeting anyone's eyes. Emma was glaring at him, though.

"I have enough permanent bruises all over my body, didn't you notice those?" Emma replied, kinda directing her anger towards her father.

"Well, kind of I guess. But I thought they were just those mysterious mystery bruises that just appear on your legs and you don't know where the hell they come from. And speaking of which I got a couple on my legs right now. But I think—"

Dan punched me in the shoulder. "There's another bruise; your welcome. Now shut up."

"Are you walking her down or not because we gotta go... Like now." Jonah stated.

Jake looked out the front window "Would you look at that? Casper, Cheyenne and some old hag sitting beside each other!"

"Hey, that old hag is my wife!" Mr Wyoming spat, pointing his finger at Jake.

Jake held up his hands in a surrendering motion.

"Okay, enough. Dad, you can walk be down the aisle, I guess." Emma decided, biting her lip nervously.

So blah blah blah entrance. Amy, Sinead and I stood in a line on one side of the alter (me in front because I'm beautiful. And also because I'm the maid of honour...) then Jake, Dan and Jonah were on the other side (Jonah in front because he's a global superstar and demanded the front. And also because he's the best man..).

Hamilton stood in the middle, a HUGE grin on his face.

So then wedding stuff happened. Sue me, but I wasn't really paying attention. I kept thinking about what upgrades I should put on my FNFAL later when Dan and I play Black Ops. Suppresser is always a good option. Maybe an Infrared Scope... Naw what about.. Flamethrower! Decisions have been decided!

"You may now kiss the bride!" Said the priest, as he closed his book.

Wait where the hell did time go? Hash tag Shortest Wedding Ceremony Everrr. Hash tag Off Guard.

Anyways so then Ham here leaned in and the crowd drew in a sharp intake of breath then Hamilton touched his lips to Emma's and the crowd exhaled in a powerful 'Aww!'

Hash tag One Sentence.

I really don't get weddings. I mean, you basically define your life after one simple kiss. A couple kisses all the time, so isn't it basically like getting married over and over again when you kiss? Who cares, I've done too much thinking for today anyways.

Emma and Hamilton walked back down the aisle and people threw flowers and sunshine and lollipops and rainbows and glitter. K, the first part was true though.

Omg. Guess what comes next.

The reception.

Hash tag TIME TO PARTAAYYY


	15. Chapter 14 Reception

**IM BACK OMG DON'T SHOOT IM SO SORRY! I BROUGHT VIRTUAL MUFFINS AS AN APOLOGY!**

**I just haven't been in the mood to do anything really. Not to mention my "best friend" and I got into a huge fight. But I don't care, I've never really liked her and she's really fake and annoying so..**

**AND MY FRIEND BROOKE KEEPS FINDING THESE CATCHING FIRE POSTERS IN THESE WEIRD MAGAZINES AND SHE GIVES THEM ALL TO ME! Cuz she knows I'm an obsessive freak :3**

**DISCLAIM THIS CHAPTA, BIIITCH:: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own T39C or their characters. Enjoy. **

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•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••  
Emma's Reception

Soooooo... At the Reception, everyone that participated in the wedding (Emma, Ham, groomsmen&bridesmaids) got to sit at a long table up on a stage. Down on the floor, there was tons of circular tables for even one else to sit at. They were all decorated so perfectly, and I could tell Emma put a lot of work into everything.

There was even a table with a bunch of bowls filled with candy; you had to take one of the paper bags they had out and you could fill it with as much candy as you wanted.

Plus, there was a canteen for drinks and stuff. Dinner was going to be served at 6:00, and it was about 5:00 right now.

And, I'm like kind of (totally) obsessed with this band... A Rocket To The Moon. Emma being Emma, was able to get ARTTM to preform at her reception.

Okay... So I was sitting at the table, Amy and Sinead to my right. There were two empty chairs to my left, then there was Jonah, Jake and Dan.

Emma also hired this gay ass announcer to announce everything that will be happening. His name was Oswald.

So Oswald walked over to the podium, and tapped the microphone a few times to get everyone's attention.

"Hello, everyone." Oswald started. "And welcome to the reception of Emma-Lea and Hamilton Holt! They are very thankful for all you that showed up. Now, could I ask your full attention directed towards the door as the bride and groom themselves enter. Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome, Emma-Lea and Hamilton Holt, the newly weds!"

I rolled my eyes. He obviously spent days writing and memorizing that entrance.

Emma and Hamilton walked inside, and the cheering began. They were still wearing their clothes from the wedding.

They came up onto the stage and decided to say a speech.

"Thank you guys so much for coming to our wedding ceremony; it really means a lot," Emma stated. "So, we're gonna skip a couple things during the reception, because, well... Hawaii, okay? I just wanna get there."

People laughed, some just rolled their eyes at how quirky Emma is.

"The pamphlets on your table will tell you a few things about tonight, like who participated in the wedding and all that jazz. Thanks again for coming, and now Oswald here is gonna say something." Emma finished, amusement twinkling in her eyes.

Oswald walked back over to the microphone. "Okay, so right now we're are going to have Mr and Mrs Holt come done to the dance floor to have their first dance."

Emma and Ham walked off. The DJ (ARTTM won't be here till after dinner) started playing "Breathe (2AM)" by Anna Nalick.

Hamilton, obviously, is not an experienced dancer. I was biting back laughter the entire time.

People snapped pictures. At the end of the song everyone clapped and Emma planted a quick kiss on Hamilton's lips and they came back to the table.

Wedding Reception stuff happened. When it came time for the father/daughter & mother-in-law/son-in-law dances, I made a bee-line for the candy table.

A couple little kids who could only have been Ham or Emma's distance relatives were hanging out by the candy table.

I rolled my eyes. They were all only, like, 9-11 years old, but two had cell phones out and the other two had iPods.

"Scram kids." I told them, picking up a paper bag. "If you don't, I'll rub peanut butter on my feet and make you clean them off with those phones of yours. Now get going."

One of the girls (she was about 10 with weird, brown, curly hair) folded her arms. Ooh, time to pick a fight. "You don't scare us."

"Oh, I'll scare you when you wake up at 3am Friday morning, only to find me naked with a knife to your cats throat." I told them, saying the first thing that came to mind. God, I sound like I'm taking meth.

The oldest boy, who was about 11 or 12, smirked. "I wouldn't mind finding you naked, actually—"

"Shut your mouth, perve, or I'll staple those baggy pants of yours to your hips."

The girl's eyes widened. "Um, we'll go now."

I did my best not to laugh. "You should've gone a long while ago."

The four of them scurried away and I laughed. I opened up my paper bag and started filling it with Gay Bacon,  
Skittles, Gummy Bears and those Candy Banana things.

I took my bag back to the table and (thankfully) dinner was being served. I got a salad, some chicken and a Sprite. With the three pounds of Gay Bacon I took, I made a Gay Bacon Weave.

"God, Lindsay." Amy commented, stifling a laugh.

"Who put out Gay Bacon?" Hamilton asked, eyeing my weave.

"I asked Nellie to choose the candy." Emma stated.

"Well praise Nellie." I said, then took a bite of my weave.

Cheesecake was served for dessert but I decide to stick with my candy.

A waiter came up on the stage and placed my dessert in front of me, then he left. I frowned. Why was I the only one to get one at the table?

The blueberry cheesecake sat untouched in front of my plate. I didn't feel like eating it because of how oddly the waiter put it down.

A Rocket To The Moon showed up, and they started by playing "If Only They Knew."

Over to the right, there was a staircase that led to a room, that was blocked out from the world. Inside there was a huge TV, and a bunch of pillows and blankets. The room was going to be used by little kids once, you know, everyone else got drunk.

I was making my way towards the staircase because Cartoon Network was supposed to be showing re-runs of Adventure Time right about now, and I wanted to see the episode where TreeTrunks adventures to get the Crystal Gem Apple.

Someone grabbed my arm, and spun around, about to lay a ninja-kick on this person. Turns out it was just Dan so I stayed put.

"Come dance," Dan asked, gesturing towards the dance floor.

"Who are you and where's my boyfriend?" I asked, furrowing my eyebrows.

"Outside in the ditch, I drugged him," Dan rolled his eyes. "But seriously, come dance."

"If it were a couple months ago you'd be sitting at the table, and you'd be playing Fruit Ninja on your iPod. Why do you wanna dance so much?" I probed, folding my arms.

"Maybe I wanna do something for you, because I know you wanna dance so much." Dan smiled faintly.

I gave in. "Fine, whatever. Only a couple songs."

When we walked over to the dance floor, "Lost And Found" was playing. And omg that song makes me cry.

I placed my arms around Dan's neck and he put his hands on my waist. We danced around to the tune of the song, and I was cracking jokes the whole time because I had nothing better to say.

"Why did the chicken cross the road?" I asked, smirking.

Dan shrugged his shoulders. "I dunno, why?"

"To get to the douche bag's house. He has an important delivery," I stated. "Knock knock?"

"Who's there?"

"The chicken."

"Ha-ha. Hilarious." Dan said, sarcasm dripping from his words.

"Wait, he has a delivery for you!"

"What is it?"

"A GPS."

"Why would a chicken give me a GPS?"

"To help you find the witch's house."

"And why would I need to go there?"

"Because she wants to tell you something."

"Okay, what does she want to tell me."

"She wants to say you're douche bag for making the chicken cross the road."

"It's not my fault! It's whoever sent me the GPS's fault!"

"Oh... Yeah. Okay, this joke is going no where. Truth is I was just making it up on the spot."

"Obviously."

The song ended and I lost my dancy-mood, so I went back to my spot on the table. The creepy waiter that had given me my cheesecake was talking with Oswald. Well then.

My cheesecake was still at my spot on the table. I decided to eat it, because everyone else had cheesecake and nobody dropped dead on the spot.

The creepy waiter came up to the table and started taking all the dirty dishes away.

I took a couple bites of the cheesecake and, honestly, it tasted amazing.

But then shit happened. I started getting all sleepy and my vision was fogging up. F*ck, I knew I shouldn't have touched it.

Soon, I was out cold, my face squished into the rest of my cheesecake.


	16. Chapter 15

**I am so absolutely sorry for making you wait this long. Just like. Omg. So sorry. **

**Ive been "busy" watching Adventure Time, not to mention I just started reading TMI: City of Bones AND IM ABSOLUTELY IN LOVE WITH IT. **

**so yeah. My excuses are lame, but whatevs. They are th truth XD ENJOY**

**DISCLAIMER::**

**Me: Hallo**

**Lindsay: Uh hi**

**Me: Wasabi**

**Lindsay: Pulled Pork**

**Me: Tuna fish**

**Lindsay: Awkotacos**

**Me: *infinite gasp* OH NO YOU DIDN'T **

**Lindsay: *ghetto snap* OH YES I DID**

**Me: you unfaithful butt scotch. Just disclaim please before I tell the viewers you chea—**

**Lindsay: NOO. OKAY. OKAY. HERE; TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco does not own T39C or their characters. Only her own. K bai. **

* * *

Date Unknown - Location Unknown - Time Unknown

PRESENT TIME!

Well, um, nobody's getting presents, actually. *sad face*

What I mean is that I'm continuing from the Prologue now. You know, where I woke up in the barren waste-land? Yeah. So I'm going to attempt to write in present-tense, but I was never good at that, so if I just randomly switch over to past-tense, you'll know why.

Okay, so let's refresh your memory a bit. I woke up and noticed sand was everywhere. I definitely wasn't at the wedding reception anymore.

The sun was beating down, and it was very hot outside.

I wasn't in my dress anymore, instead I was in short denim shorts, and a black-and-white checkered shirt, that has the sleeves rolled up to about my elbows. I have a black tank top on underneath. I also have on black flip flops.

Okay, this is super freaky. I don't remember changing clothes, and I sure as hell don't remember owning anything checkered.

I stand up and dust off my body, getting rid of all the sand in my hair and everywhere else.

This sucks. I'm stranded in the middle of no where, alone. Unarmed, might I add.

I look around, which is kind of pointless. There's only sand and hills of sand and maybe a couple rocks but that's it.

I start walking in one direction, trying to find something.

Then a miracle happens.

There was somebody in the distance, walking towards me. Oh thank God. There really is life here.

I decide to sit down and rest while they walk towards me. I mean, they're coming towards me. There is no point in running over there just to walk back.

Anyways, this mysterious mystery person towing a small cart behind them, filled with water jugs. Okay then.

Finally, this person comes close enough so I can actually give a description of them.

K, so it was a guy, about my age. He has golden locks of hair, intense amber eyes, and a determined look on his face. He was wearing a loose black t-shirt and shorts.

"I hasn't seen y'all around here before," the guy calls out.

Oh Lord Jesus thank you he speaks English omg lyfe is perf.

"I'm new?" I reply, shrugging my shoulders. He stops walking when he gets close enough to me. "The name's Lindsay. I think I was drugged and kidnapped. I woke up here. And you are?"

"Luca. I live about two leagues due west of here. And you're okay with being drugged and kidnapped?" This guy asks, raising his eyebrows.

"I'm used to it. Can I tag along with you? Possibly chill out at your place for a bit till I figure out stuff?" I question.

Luca nods. "Sure. I live with my older brother Callum and my older sister Joyce. My parents were killed awhile ago."

"Same here! How old are you? And your siblings?"

"I've got fifteen years on me, and Callum and Joyce both have nineteen."

"I'm fifteen too! Man, we have so much in common!" I state, shaking my head.

"Where are you from?"

"Canada. But I've been living in the US for awhile now. And where are we, exactly?"

"We are in Half-Moon Waters, in the middle of the Sahara Desert."

I gasp. "What?! B-but... I'm so far away from home! My family and my friends... How am I going to get back?!"

Luca shrugs. "I dunno. You might have to stay for a bit."

I kick a rock. "Dammit."

"It's alright, I'm sure you'll be fine here." Luca says, smiling faintly.

"Okie then. So lead the way to your magical home of awesome sauce!"

:{DD}:

"Lindsay, meet Callum and Joyce. Callum and Joyce, meet Lindsay."

Callum is tall with dark hair that is cut just below his ears. His eyes are bright blue and his smile is sweet and genuine.

Joyce looks like a total bitch. She has long blonde hair, dark brown eyes, and a disgusted look on her face. Her arms are folded.

I fold mine back. "I guess I'm staying for awhile."

"Says who?" Joyce spits.

"Uh, says me. Apparently y'allzies are the only house for another, um, three leagues..? Yeah, leagues. So I'm staying."

"Where are you from? You talk oddly." Callum states, frowning.

"Canada, land of syrup. No, I don't carry maple bombs on me. Only the RCMP do that." I reply casually.

They still look completely confused.

"Um," Luca mumbles. "I forgot to mention. We only have three beds."

"I forgot to mention, I love sleeping in the dirt." I tell him.

"Seriously?!"

"Uh, no, dipjizz. Girls don't sleep in dirt, it ruins their hair." I say, fluffing my amazing pink hair.

"You're so..." Callum trails off, at lose of words to describe my awesomeness.

"Perfect? Beautiful? Hilarious? Awesome? Mathematical?!"

"No. Different, is the word I was looking for." Callum states, giving me an odd glance.

I shrug my shoulders. "I can dig it."


	17. Chapter 16

**K yeah you hate me I'm sorry but my Internet has been absolute shit and every time I try to make a new document my wifi cuts out and everything gets deleted. Not to mention its been thunder storming every single day of the week... So enough about me and my lame excuses. Here's the new chapter that is very shitty I know but the next one will be better my apologies. **

**DISCLAIMER:: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco (the terrible, horrible, shitty author that has broughtyou this story) does not own T39C or their characters, only her own. **

* * *

I wake up early that morning. I had only fallen asleep at, like, 4am because I was scared I would get attacked by scorpions in the middle of the night.

Luca had let me sleep in his bed while he stayed up for a bit to make another bed. Their beds are weird, though. They're basically a really small wooden frame, a crappy mattress, an oddly-smelling blanket that didn't even cover my whole body, and a half-torn pillow case stuffed with chicken feathers.

So, in conclusion, their beds are shit and these weirdos are poor as f*ck.

I also had to stay in my same outfit overnight because I have no other clothes to wear. Luca had offered to take me to the store that was apparently 8 leagues away from here. I just said he could take me tomorrow. So I guess that's my plan for today.

I stand up and stretch out my arms. Then I make my why to their make-shift kitchen which is also absolute shit.

I nearly have a heart attack when I see Callum standing in there.

"Dude, it's like 6am why the hell are you up?" I question, sitting down at the table.

Callum shrugs. "I could ask you the same question."

"Yeah, but I asked you first." I retort, blowing my fading-pink hair out of my eyes.

"Fine. I get up at 6am because I have chores to do. You?"

"I have insomnia." I answer.

"What's that?" Callum asks, suddenly getting interested.

"It's like a sleeping disorder. I can't sleep properly." I inform him. It's pretty weird hanging out with stupid people. Well, I mean, Dan is pretty stupid himself—

Dan. God dammit why do I always have to get kidnapped and mess up my relationships?!

"Oh. I'm sorry." Callum says, looking apologetic.

I laugh. "Dude, it's not your fault. No need to worry."

So I have breakfast and we hang out until about 8am when Callum remembers about his chores. Luca wakes up at 8:30.

"To the store?" Luca asks.

I shrug. "Alright."

We go outside and it seems hotter than it was yesterday. I glance over at Luca.

"What's the store like?" I ask, trying to get my mind off of the intense heat.

"It sells like everything there. We go up a few times every month to get supplies like clothes, food, medicines and stuff like that." Luca answers. He leads me towards a stable, where there is three horses. One is a sleek black colour, one is a glimmering white, and the last is light brown.

"That's Ash, Venus and Duke." Luca tells me. "Duke is mine, Venus is Joyce's and Ash is Callum's. you should probably take Ash because Joyce doesn't exactly like you..." Luca trails off, scratching the back of his neck thoughtfully.

They don't have saddles, so we have to ride bareback. I get on Ash and Luca hops on Duke.

I've never ever ridden a horse before so I'm pretty damn scared right now. Horses are like less attractive zebras. Yes, okay, that's a lame insult but the stupid heat beating down on my face is getting the best of me!

We start off by galloping slowly, and yes, I might have given a little shriek of surprise.

Luca is a great person to hang out with. He is very easy to talk to. Luca helped keep me distracted all the way to the store.

"We're here," exclaims Luca. We had been riding for a few hours.

I hop off the horse, and we tie the reigns to the large wooden post outside the store.

The store is basically a small building, with peeling yellow paint and the blinds pulled shut against the windows. I shudder; this place gave off creepy vibes.

I hastily walk inside, and immediately spot an old women sitting at the front desk. She reminds me a lot of Mrs Godin, that disgusting old hag that works at the Hamilton-Wrentworth Detention Centre.

Thinking about it, that day in the jail cell feels like it happened a thousand years ago.

"Pick out whatever clothes you like," Luca gestures towards the shelf in the far back. "I have enough to buy you three shirts and three pairs of shorts."

I go ahead and walk over to the shelf. The clothes are actually really nice. Most of them are down material, and a few have beaded collars. I take two tank tops (one is a faded blue colour, the other is a lighter pink) and a purple crop top. I also get three pairs of shorts, which are (surprisingly) denim.

Luca also grabs some apples and oranges. He makes the purchase and we head back outside.

"Thank you," I say, taking one of the oranges her offers me. "For the clothes."

Luca gives a warm smile. "It was my pleasure."

We feed the apples to the horses, then we jump back on and get prepared for the journey back.

Now back at Luca's house, I am sitting down on a hay bale while Luca brushes his horse.

"Luca," I pipe up, using my hand to block the sun.

He looks up from the horse. "Yeah?"

"I know I've only been here for a day but I need to get back to the states. My family is probably worried sick about me and I just really have to get back." I tell him.

He sighs. "I understand. Tomorrow morning, we'll set off for the nearest airport."

I am grateful, but I can't help but ask. "Where's the nearest airport, exactly?"

"In technical terms, it's about a week's walk from here."

I gape at him. "A week?!"

"Yeah, but we have horses. So it shouldn't be that long."

"Oh, thank god." I exclaim. "Thanks, by the way."

Luca gives me a small smile. "No problem."


	18. Chapter 17

_**PLEAAAAAAASSSEEEEE READ THIS AUTHORS NOTE ITS IMPORTANT. **_

**Okay so the contest ended three weeks ago I believe (hot damn I'm a mess) and nobody won because nobody entered which is kind of sad but wutevs MCL isn't that popular anyways... But my sister (who hasn't read MCL or T39C) decided to write an Emma/Hamilton one shot to brighten my mood and it's really funny and I'm going to post it after I post this chapter. The title of the one shot will be called "Positive Signs and Black Ham". You can find it on my profile after you are done reading this chapter. **

**So what's new in my boring life that nobody cares about? Um. I went to a soccer camp. I also went camping. I'm currently obsessed with Danny Phantom. I over fed my hamster with pumpkin seeds and she nearly exploded. None of my friends will text me. Um. I'm really hungry right now. I got new neighbors and they have these aggressive boarder collies that come and take craps in my backyard. Umm. None of you probably bothered to read this, but if you did, include the words "Ghost Zone" in your review. I luff all my readers and I'm so so so so so sorry for being a gay ass douche dick and making you wait this long for a new chapter.**

**Also, for this chapter, Lindsay's thoughts are underlined, and her stupid sub conscious self is in italics. Okay, okay. **

**DISCLAIMER:: TooBusyBeingAnAwkoTaco, your douche dick of an author, does not own T39C or their characters. Only her own.**

* * *

"Make me a promise here tonight! Love like a tidal wave, dreamless in early graves. I never want it to be this way! The chemicals will bring you home again!" I yell out, spinning and skipping around the house. I am in a good mood, okay? That calls for singing random songs and running around like a handicap.

Right now I am singing any lyrics that pop up into my head. If you know any of the songs I'm singing, you get mad props.

"Hello, Brooklyn! Hey, LA! Take the streets all night, 'cause we sleep all day. When the world comes crashing down, who's ready to party?" I sing, entering the kitchen. I take a drink of water, then I head outside where everyone else is.

All three horses were strapped with sacks of food, water and spare clothes. Luca, Callum and Joyce were all getting ready to mount their horses.

"When you feel my heat, look into my eyes. It's where my demons hide, it's where my demons hide.." I lightly hum, walking over to the horses. Luca grins at me.

"Ready for an adventure?" He asks, climbing on top of Duke, his horse. Luca holds out a hand for me, as I jump on behind him. I wrap my arms around his waist to stay steady.

"Yeah. Are you sure you know how to get to the airport?" I question, noticing Callum and Joyce getting on their horses. We set off at a quick trot.

Luca nods. "I'm positive."

I don't question it any farther. The sun beats down on us and we ride the horses. I never really realized it, but there is some strange animals living in deserts. In a span of at least an hour, we rode past scorpions, jackals, honey badgers (cuz honey badgers don't care. They don't give a shit), and weird looking snakes.

We take a break once we find some trees for shade. I sit down tiredly.

"I need a good nap," I yawn, stretching out my arms.

Joyce rolls her eyes. "You can rest when night falls."

"Jeez, you're pushy. Night is so far away," I say, making a weak reaching gesture.

Joyce grits her teeth and jumps back on her pony. Heh.

We get back on our horses and take off once again. I nearly pass out from fatigue after a mile of riding. Before I know it, the sun is starting to set.

"We can make camp beside the oasis up there." Callum points up ahead, where a very small pond sort of things rests. There is also a some small trees and bushes around it.

They pitch three very small tents, like one person tents. They all climb inside to get some sleep. I sit beside the pond with my legs crossed.

I scoop up a handful of warm sand. What's going back on at the mansion right now? Surely they'd be concerned about my disappearance.. Right?

_Probably not,_ a little voice inside my head hisses. _It's not like they liked you anyways. _

**(A/N :: for all the Lil shits who didn't read my authors note up there ^ ^ ^, Lindsay's thoughts are underlined, and her sub conscious self is in italics.)**

Yeah, I think back, I'm pretty sure they all liked me in some sort of way, except for Ian. 

_They're probably only concerned about you missing because your a responsibility. Cora sent you to live with them on a mission. Now they're basically just your babysitters. If you get lost forever, Cora will start another war, dividing up the branches._

I almost laugh at how stupid my brain sounds.

At least Aunt Cora cares about me.

_There's probably only a few people in your life that actually like you. Anyone else it most likely faking. _

Shut up! That's not true!

_Yes it is. It's bringing up bad memories, of you not being cared for. You're about to cry. _

I bite my lip. No, I'm not. 

_Yes, you are. See those scars on your legs? Those are the proof of your bad memories. _

Feeling a sudden weight on my shoulders, I glance down. I am wearing short shorts, and up and down my thighs are thin white lines, marking the spots where I had cut myself, time after time.

Of course, I haven't cut since I attempted my second suicide. After that I threw away all my blades and never gave a second thought about cutting or harming myself in any way. Until now.

What if my gay ass, douche dick of a subconscious self was right? What if nobody actually cares about me, because I'm just a responsibility?

I let out a sigh and start tracing the scars with my pointer finger. My whole life is one gigantic mess.

"Lindsay?" Someone says. I jump.

I turn my head to see Luca, stepping out of his tent of magical mysteries.

"Hey." I murmur, assuming Joyce and Callum had already fallen asleep.

Luca finds a spot in the dirt beside me. "What's up?"

I shrug. "Just thinking, as per usual."

"About what?" He questions, giving me a sideways glance. The moonlight is radiating off his fine skin, giving him a more detailed look. He looks almost like a golden statue.

"My past. My younger years. When I was stupid."

"But aren't you stupid now?" I would've taken that as a horrible insult, but he said it with a humorous smile.

"I guess so. At least, everyone thinks that." I answer, sighing to myself.

"You seem really sad," Luca notices. "Want to talk about it?"

"Well, yeah. Maybe talking will help somehow. You aren't going to understand some things, for sure, but I just want to get my feelings out, okay?" I state. Luca nods, and shifts a little closer to me.

So then I basically tell him my entire life's story, starting from my parents death.

After I finish, Luca doesn't say anything. Hot heck I probably overwhelmed him into silentness.

"I don't understand," he starts. I have to bite back a 'no shit'. "Why — how... How could you hate yourself? You're so nice, and cool, and pretty."

"But I'm just a responsibility." I remind him. "Nobody cares about my kindness, coolness or looks."

"You can't be serious. Honestly, we've only hung out for two days and I already like you. Everybody you know likes you, I promise."

"Except Ian," I mumble under my breath. "Anyways, you should get some sleep. Long day ahead of us."

"What about you? You need sleep, too."

"Not really. I don't require a whole lot of sleep." I reply.

Luca shrugs, and climbs back into his tent. I sigh.

Suddenly I'm not so eager to get back to the States.


End file.
